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A flaming sword of burning righteousness and also fire!
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Post by ♏aple♢ on Oct 28, 2015 20:30:34 GMT
Darkness. Warmth. Peace. Sleep's paralyzing grip was less of a grasp and more of a welcoming embrace for Starlingfur. When she slept, she didn't work. She didn't think. She just... slept. Regained her strength. Wandered the world of dreams, or dwelled on that of the waking. And what a world the waking was. Hustle and bustle, mischief and strife. Sometimes, she wondered if she might have been better off staying a rogue. Living off the land. Wandering the wood aimlessly, searching only for her next meal or a place to sleep for the day. Her Duskclan life was so different. Between their strife with Birchclan and the... problems... with her former apprentice, raising kits on her own was a difficult feat. But whenever Starlingfur saw their faces.. So wide eyed and hopeful.. Full of love and bravery and excitement for the world. She wondered how much she truly regretted.
Maybe everything. Maybe nothing. But never- never this.
The familiar scents of Rookshadow and Fernheart in the nursery lulling her into a calm. The ability to live by night once more as a queen- or... to try to, given the lack of a real schedule when it came to kits.. Was a helpful perk. Even if she was exhausted physically, emotionally, and mentally, Starlingfur could find respite in her den. Take a break from life and slip into old habits like a still-warm nest. Until, of course, one of those kits woke her. Ah, their ever irregular schedules. A pair of paws on her chest. A face pressed up against her throat. Warm and gentle, but insistent.
"Mama? Mom?"
A familiar voice and familiar scents, Through her heavy eyelids now Starlingfur saw no longer darkness, but light. The queen ducked her head into her nest, wrapping one paw around the wriggling kit and the other over her eyes. Starlingfur opened her eyes just so slightly. The world blurred around her, but she could see a fluffy tabby body between her paws. Her son. His fur was soft. The queen closed her eyes again, rubbing her face affectionately and sleepily against him with a yawn.
"Mmmm... just go back to sleep, Thrushkit..."
It had to be too early. Starlingfur was still so tired. Her exhaustion sunk to her bones. Her body felt like the heaviest stone. Like she'd been dragged through the lake and back again. Every single hair on her pelt had was weary. She just wanted to sleep. Just a little longer. It took only a moment for her to begin dozing again. But then the kit spoke, wiggling and pulling his head from beneath her. The words that he said stopped Starlingfur cold. "Who's Thrushkit?"When Starlingfur's eyes snapped open they met not green, but copper. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Why cant you tell us here? I wanna know now!"
"Pleeeease?"It was the kind of guilt that stuck with you. The kind that made your heart stop and your soul ache. It brought icy tendrils curling through your ribs. Mistaking one kit for another. Mistaking one kit for a kit long dead. Starclan, Starlingfur couldn't stop the pounding of her heart. She had barely been able to stop the wetness of her eyes upon waking to realize that this was a life so different from the one long gone. A life completely different. A new clan. A new family. A new mate and new kits. Everything was new, and everything was gone. All that remained was the hole in her heart, left by those lost. Its... impossible to explain, the feeling of waking in one nest and expecting it to be another. First comes the confusion. Then the fear. Then the anger. The sadness. The realization. And finally, acceptance. It was delirium brought on by exhaustion. Starlingfur knew this. She was a rational she-cat. But that didn't mean that things like this... hurt any less. Perhaps it was how much she'd thought of them lately. She saw them everywhere she went. Mothfrost and Cicadasong should be raising their kits. No- they should be apprentices now. Warriors. So would Thrushwing's. He should be a warrior himself, strong and brave as he'd been in his youth. She hadn't watched him enough. She'd never seen the signs. And by the time she had, it had been too late. Too late, too late, too late. Starlingfur had been too late for all of them. Too late to save Waspwing from the stampede. Too late to warn Mothfrost. To protect her. Too late to urge Dapplefall that her life had been worth living. Too late to let Thrushwing know that love didn't have to mean pain. Too late to save Cicadasong and her unborn kits. Too late to stop Ravenmist's illness. And now- No. Starlingfur would not be too late for these kits. Starlingfur would be a good mother. Starclan would she try. She may not have been cut out for this. She may have been a broken, selfish, lovestruck fool for the first unending years of her motherhood. Of her life. She wasn't good enough, and her kits had paid the ultimate price. She blamed herself always for their passing. Their murders. But... she would be better. She had to be better. For Flickerkit. For Hawkkit, Ternkit, and Shrikekit. For Birchtail. For Thrushwing, Ravenmist, Dapplefall, Cicadasong, Mothfrost, and Waspwing. For herself. Starlingfur would not make the same mistakes twice. She couldn't, now that she had cats here for her. Now that these kits had cats here for them. This life would be better. She would tell them what they wanted to know. What they needed to know. She would care for their wounds and encourage them no matter what paths their lives took. She would be there for them. She would love them. No- she did love them. More than anything in this forest. This was for them. The clan. Their rebuilding. All of it. And this.. This was why she had to do this. Starlingfur smiled gently, copper eyes gentle. There was a fragility in them- fractures like cobwebs. But behind, there was a strength. Strong as the trees for what their clan was named. "Just a moment, now. We're going to your sisters den." She hushed, licking Ternkit's head. Her voice was gentle. Warm. There was almost a waver to it- but not quite. This would be hard. But.. they needed to know. They'd only been told bits and pieces. But they deserved this. And maybe... She did too. The sun had fallen. Dark gray light filled the camp as twilight overtook them. It had been sunset when she'd awoken. And after they'd had a bit to eat, Starlingfur had decided that it was time. The lot of them were headed to the elder's den- currently in use by Flickerkit. Ravenface had moved her there when more cats had begun to fall ill. Secretly, Starlingfur had been glad. Hawkkit had voiced his jealousy over her having a den all to herself, and Shrikekit had vowed to keep her company. But there was a hole in their nest that couldn't be filled without her there. Without her daughter. And now, they would fill that again. Even if just for a few hours. Starlingfur.. would be taking a break from her leaderly duties for the day. Hawkkit dashed ahead into the den with a trill as they approached it. Starlingfur smiled and shook her head. When Shrikekit looked up to her, she nodded reassuringly, and he dashed right after his brother. It warmed her heart to see them like this. So happy. So excited. Starclan how their older siblings would have loved them. Starlingfur followed after. The den was darker. Packed into the hillside below the leader's den in what used to be a badger's set, it was secure. That pleased Starlingfur, though it took her eyes a moment to adjust. The scent of her mate and daughter put the she-cat at ease, and she smiled again. Fresh moss lay packed comfortably into what was Flickerkit's nest, and as she'd expected, Hawkkit had quickly seated himself at her side. She slept peacefully. It was good to see her getting some rest. Shrikekit had run to their father, tucking himself between his legs. His head almost reached the pudgy gray and white tom's chest now. They were getting so big so quickly. But Starlingfur rose her eyes from her little son's face to his father. Round green eyes, the shade of thick algae and summer underbrush. Welcoming. His face so full and figure so warm. Safety, she realized. That was what she felt when she was with him. And with all of them finally together again like this... Starlingfur looked around the den. This was her family. Her loyal and honest Shrikekit. Her cheery and loving Hawkkit. Her intelligent and gentle Ternkit. And her beautiful, warm, and oh so brave Flickerkit. Their family. Their future. They were so young, but Starlingfur... she was so proud of all of them. Starlingfur looked back to Birchtail. Her eyes were at ease, now. Heartbeat slowing. Peace taking over. Acceptance. Readiness. After moons- seasons, she was finally... Ready. The she-cat moved forward slowly, closing her eyes and touching her nose gently to her mate's. Her mate what had stuck with her through thick and thin. No matter how bad things had gotten... He had always been there. And though it had taken Starlingfur seasons to realize.. always would be. He had always been so kind and friendly- gentle and reassuring- welcoming and warm with her other kits. And was now the father of theirs. "Birchtail, its.... time."
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Post by Kibbles on Oct 28, 2015 23:34:38 GMT
Birchtail hadn't expected company so early, but when he heard paw steps at the entrance, he rose. He was going to turn whoever it was away, that Flickerkit was still asleep. But when he saw his family walking in, he gave them a warm purr in greeting. He licked Shrikekit's head and looked up when Starlingfur came over.
He knew what was happening. She didn't need to say anymore than that. He nodded once. "Alright, everyone, go ahead and sit in the nest. Spend some time with your sister," he said, nudging Shrikekit in that direction. He noted that Ternkit was already over there, sitting beside Hawk-kit and looking up at Birchtail and Starlingufr with curious and excited eyes.
He leaned down and licked Flickerkit gently. "Wake up, Flickerkit. Look who came to see you," he whispered gently. He licked her a few more times, softly so he wouldn't hurt her, but enough so that she woke up. And once she was awake, he curled around his kits, laying down behind all of them.
This was no his story to tell, but he would always be here for Starlingfur and his family.
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A flaming sword of burning righteousness and also fire!
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Post by ♏aple♢ on Oct 29, 2015 20:05:25 GMT
Starlingfur watched the scene before her. Birchtail rousing Flickerkit gently. Flickerkit dozing back to sleep in an instant. Still so fragile- still so tired. She couldn't blame her. Hawkkit curling around his sister and putting his head on top of her back, watching their mother with intent eyes. Eager. Curious. But protective. Ternkit laying on Flickerkit's other side at her belly, shifting into a comfortable position. Birchtail curling around the lot of them, and Shrikekit nestling between his paws. Starlingfur's copper eyes were soft as she looked over her family. Her mate. Her kits. Her reason. Sometimes... She wondered how she'd managed to get this far. Climbed all those mountains, waded all these seas. Lost a clan, created a clan. Lost a family... created a family. But when she looked at their faces... it all felt like it was finally worth it.
"Where to begin..." she murmured, taking a seat and wrapping her tail around her paws. This was a long, long story. Spanning moons- seasons- generations. Love and heartbreak, tragedy and triumph. It was life. Outside, it began to rain.
"The beginning!" Shrikekit urged.
"Mmmm... The beginning... But that would make this story a very long one indeed..."
"We wanna hear!" Hawkkit protested, whiskers twitching in anticipation.
Starlingfur smiled, looking to Birchtail with amusement twinkling in her eye- before back to the kits. Her eyes ghosted each one of their faces with care. So beautiful- so strong. All of them. And they were hers. Hers and Birchtail's. "Very well... Lets see...." She mused, rolling the ideas around in her head. Searching for a foothold in her memories felt like scrabbling for a perch in a deep, deep pool. She'd never had the best memory. Now, she wished that she had. "You've all heard of the old clans, haven't you?"
Wide golden eyes. "I thought those were just stories."
"All stories have a root of truth."
"We didn't always live in the mountains, you know. Once, many many seasons ago, long before all of you were born.. We lived in a forest." She began. The pitter patter of rain aided her concentration, dredging old memories to the surface like water washed stones. "... Not a forest like this, no. There were no mountains, no peaks. No cliffs or underwater tunnels. The trees were smaller and the undergrowth was thinner."
A gray and white face wrinkling in disgust. "That doesn't sound very nice."
A rumbling purr sprung forth in unison from both Birchtail and Starlingfur. ".... It was home. For a time." Starlingfur's eyes lowered as she smiled a bit sadly, shaking her head. She paused shortly before continuing. "I was a rogue, once. Ah- do not make such a face, Shrikekit. Are you surprised? Yes, many of us were rogueborn. Lonerborn. Borne of other clans. We are Cedarclan now, but in the past it was not so. No, when I first came to the clans... There were five, not two."
All three of the waking kits gawked. "An odd thought now, isn't it? We only have Cedarclan and Marshclan now. But once upon a time... Yes, there were five. Duskclan, Birchclan, Thornclan, Breezeclan, and Heatherclan. However... The forests of Duskclan were what I called home." A pause. "For a time."
"But if you were a loner, when did you join um... Duskclan? And what about Papa!"
Starlingfur tilted her head in thought. It was.... So long ago now. She stopped for a moment, but soon her eyes widened in realization. She.... wasn't sure. It had been... Young. Very young. Just seasons out of her mother's nest, she'd set off into the forest to make her own way in the world. To find an easier way to skate by. Living as she pleased, following her whims with the wind. Doing what she needed to get prey or shelter, but never more. Never overexerting, never going out of her way. She'd thought of the clans as... An easy way to get food. Free shelter. Protection. Her reasons for joining in her youth had been selfish and naive. Oh, if only her past self could see her now... Starlingfur wondered if, as a youth, she would have still joined the clans had she known what was to come. Her self now would have... Without a second thought. "I was... young." She finally meowed. "Moons younger than Featherpaw. It was late Leaf-Bare, and I wanted a place to stay." Such a simple reason. "I found Duskclan. And Shrikestar..." Shrikekit's ears popped up, golden eyes going wide. Starlingfur looked up to Birchtail with a smile. "... Welcomed me into Duskclan with open paws." |
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Post by Kibbles on Oct 30, 2015 0:04:32 GMT
Birchtail purred lightly as the story began and his kits kept piping up with questions. He stayed quiet, though, having already known this part of the story. His tail tip lightly flicked back and forth as he laid there, watching his kits carefully, curiously.
"I had been born in Duskclan. So I've heard that it had been in my family's blood to become leaders. Shrikestar was my father and he was leader. Before him came Crookedstar, then Crowstar, and even more. All of which you all are related to through my blood. But that is getting off subject now, isn't it?" he explained.
"I was a kit at the time, when Starlingfur joined. No bigger than you all. I don't even remember her ever joining. To me, she has always been in a clan. And she's as loyal as any other clan born cat."
"You were a kit when mama joined?! Does that mean my mate could be a warrior right now?"
"You're too young to be interested in having a mate. And no, you're never getting a mate. Never," he said, giving his daughter a playfully stern look. He purred as Ternkit batted his whiskers.
"Pay attention to the story now, stop distracting me."
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A flaming sword of burning righteousness and also fire!
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Post by ♏aple♢ on Oct 30, 2015 1:17:47 GMT
Little Shrikekit's eyes were as wide as suns, looking up at his father in awe. "I'm named after a leader...? Was- was he a good cat?"
"One of the best." Starlingfur meowed simply, eyes soft and distant. Shrikestar.. Starlingfur had met few cats like him in her lifetime. A selfless tom, one what cared for his clan above all else. And even more, the warriors of his clan. It was.. Knowing him was one of the first things that began to shape who she would be today, Starlingfur realized. Stoic. Quiet, like she had been. And yet, unlike her, in those days.. He'd gone out of his way to help others. To make his clanmates feel at peace. At home. As a young warrior, the she-cat had brushed off much of his attempted interactions. And yet when she fell with kits... Ah, but that was too far ahead. And Shrikekit seemed pleased enough. Starlingfur looked at him now, eyes proud. He looked so much like him. Starlingfur hoped that his grandfather- one of her dearest friends- would have been proud.
"Ternkit's just asking cause she has a crush on Braaamblenoooose." Hawkkit teased.
Ternkit gasped indignantly, embarrassment clear on her face. "I do NOT!"
"Do too!"
"Mates are gross." Shrikekit wrinkled his nose.
Starlingfur looked to Birchtail helplessly, an exasperated half smile on her face. Before the little squabble could get too out of paw, she interjected. "Hold on now, you're all too young to even be thinking of that. Shrikekit has the right idea." She nodded to her eldest, and he puffed his chest out proudly. Hawkkit opened his mouth, but Starlingfur continued on before he could even start. "You do want to hear the rest of the story, don't you?"
"Yes!" All three of the waking kits squeaked in unison. Starlingfur nodded resolutely, trying to keep that little smile off her face. Oh dear. They were... far far too small for that. Couldn't they just stay this size? Small and safe in the nursery? Without worrying about mates or battles or... anything? Still, maybe Starlingfur had ought to keep a closer eye on Bramblenose... Ahem. Back to the story.
"Yes.. Your father was young when I joined Duskclan. We both were, though in different ways." Starlingfur settled back in, a more serious tone overtaking her once more. The kits sunk back into their positions, tucked closely and listening raptly. Starlingfur closed her eyes, trying to think. The snow melting. Birchclan, sharing their camp. Her earliest days with Duskclan, and the chaos and turmoil that those days entailed. Wrenface. Her sister. Bright green eyes and tabby fur that would always be so much softer than her own. The leader sighed gently. Granitestripe. A fine young warrior, the mate of her dearest friend. The cat what had gotten her out of one of the darkest points in her life. Rookshadow. The she-cat who- despite everything- still walked these grounds. And...
"I worked as a warrior, and it wasn't long before I was given an apprentice." Starlingfur went on, eyes opening once more. She looked out into the rain. She hadn't expected it, when it had happened. Starclan.. she hadn't expected any of it. Any of what was to come- any of what that that single ceremony would bring about in her life. She hadn't expected to be changed. "A tom." There was hesitance in her voice at the memory. All the events that had transpired were.. long passed, now. But with dredged memories came.. Others. The details of those memories however, Starlingfur would not divulge. Only what came of them. "We fe-" No. "Once he became a warrior, we had a litter of kits."
"That's Ravenmist, right?" Shrikekit asked, quirking his head. Starlingfur nodded.
"So dad was your apprentice?"
Starlingfur paused, looking to Birchtail. He... no. Starclan, in those days the two had barely even spoken. It was so... odd to think about now. That.. they had been so close, and yet so far. But.. Starlingfur wondered how different things would have been if.. No. The past was the past. This was where they stood now. "No- your father was not my apprentice. It was... Another tom. There were three kits-"
"I didn't know you could have more than one mate! Can I have four?"
"Its not-" Starlingfur searched for the words and sighed.
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Post by Kibbles on Oct 30, 2015 1:32:15 GMT
Birchtail couldn't help but let out a small laugh at Hawkkit's statement of wanting four mates.
"And you were picking on Ternkit for having a crush. Perhaps you're the one with a crush. Maybe on Mistlekit?" Birchtail teased lightly, green eyes bright. He purred as Ternkit turned and stuck her tongue out at her brother.
"No, you can't have more than one mate. It isn't proper. You'll understand when you fall in love one day," he explained. Fall in love. You didn't have to be in love to have a mate. He knew that. He could see that in Fernheart and then in Thrushwing. That tom had mated them and hadn't been in love. Fernheart hadn't been in love. She had been trapped.
And then, it made him wonder. Had Starlingfur and Boltfang been in love? Or what had happened? He knew it was just as easy to fall out of love as it was to fall in love. So perhaps... No. He didn't have to worry about that. Boltfang and Starlingfur had long been separated by the time he had become mates with Starlingfur. There was no need to think about that. Especially when Starlingfur loved him.
"Now enough about mates, let your mother contin-,"
"Where did the kits come from mama? How are kits brought to the clans? Do we just appear out of no where? Do we bloooooom like flowers? Tell us!" Ternkit said excitedly.
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A flaming sword of burning righteousness and also fire!
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Post by ♏aple♢ on Oct 30, 2015 16:06:27 GMT
"Mistlekit iiiiis pretty. But Rosekit is just as cute!" Hawkkit cocked his head, clearly pretending to think hard about the choice.
"You can't be serious!" Shrikekit looked on in horror.
"Of course I'm not. They're just my friends, silly!"
Birchtail and Starlingfur both atttempted to interject then, but it was Ternkit's whose voice was heard. Oh dear. This was taking a... Turn. Starlingfur blinked, face heating as she looked to Birchtail. That is... That was.. Ah.. "When two cats... Ah... That's... something you'll find out when you're older." Starlingfur shut down the topic quickly, though her muzzle barely concealed the twitchy smile of embarrassment that was threatening to form. She looked away from Birchtail, and back outside. "Back to... the story. After all, wouldn't you like to know about your elder siblings?"
"Yes!" Another chirp in unison.
That put an end to that. Hopefully. Starlingfur looked back to the lot of them thoughtfully, allowing herself to calm once more. Their eldest siblings. Two of whom resided in Starclan, and the third of which... Might be on her way. No. She... She shouldn't think like that. Starlingfur sighed, looking at Ravenface's den from across the clearing. That was where her eldest remaining kit rested now. Her daughter. Strong and beautiful. So resilient. So brave. She... she didn't deserve this. "Three kits. The four of you had six elder siblings, but our first litter.. was three." Starlingfur finally decided. Stormkit was... best.. not mentioned.
Hawkkit gawked. "SIX?! Thats... almost as many kits as are in the nursery!" He tried to count on his paws. Of course, he had to keep stopping and starting. Counting was hard for kits, after all. But he still looked on with wonder. Starlingfur, Birchtail, and cats otherwise had mentioned siblings in passing. They had to have known that they had them. Through Ravenmist's own words and those of others. But now.. they finally had a number to put to that statement. Hawkkit seemed to be having a difficult idea wrapping his head around the idea of six siblings.
Shrikekit on the other hand absorbed the information with rapture. "Six..." he murmured, golden eyes glowing. He was the eldest of this litter, no matter how Hawkkit played the part. Looking at him, Starlingfur couldn't help but think whether he was wondering what it might be not to be in that position. "Wow..."
Starlingfur paused for a moment, giving the kits time to process the new information. But before they could begin their questioning anew, she continued on. "One tom, two she-cats." She closed her eyes. And on the inside of her eyelids, through all the darkness and pain, she could still see them just as they were. When they were young. They had experienced pain at such a young age, but through all the blur and haze that came with her memories she could still see their perfect little faces. "The eldest was a tom. Your only older brother. Thrushkit. And then, Thrushwig. A snow-muzzled tabby, like Hawkkit and myself. But... with green eyes." Like Wrenface. Like Birchtail. Green, green. Green as the deepest forest run. Green as the leaves in the height of the hot season, and green as hope. Opening her eyes once more, she saw both her sons eyes consumed with rapture. The queen's chest constricted. Starclan, he hadn't deserved... He hadn't.. He'd been... Oh Starclan. Starlingfur coughed before continuing, albeit somewhat more softly. "He.. was kind. He made friends easily and everywhere he went. He.. Always knew how to put a smile on a cat's face. And he cared about his siblings more than anything. Always.. He always wanted to protect them." It was Hawkkit's eyes now that glowed the brightest, intense and curious and something more. Seeing that look in his eyes, golden as they may be, they.. Mirrored his eldest brother's like a pool. It was.. Ah. "He would have loved having younger brothers." The leader smiled, shaking her head. "He would have loved all of you."
"You all know Ravenmist. She was the second." Starlingfur meowed. "But back then.. She was Ravenkit. Even when she was young she was always so brave. So bold. Ravenmist.. She always spoke her mind." Starlingfur purred, shaking her head. She could still remember that. Whenever any cat had done something that wasn't to her liking, Ravenmist had cetainly let them know. No- still did let them know. She just couldn't right now. Not from the nursery. And.. unlike.. with Cicadakit, Starlingfur.. couldn't be there to support her, now. But oh, how she tried from afar. "She was loyal and strong. She was a deputy too, once." Shrikekit's eyes sparkled, and the little tom's jaw dropped. "And our leader, Blackstar, was even her mate." He had been.. Dawnclan's first leader. And its last true one, Starlingfur thought wistfully. Blackstar.. had been a good tom. A tom without whom, they might not even be here. A tom without whom.. some cats might not hold the.. positions that they do. "You've all spoken with her, though. Surely you know these things yourself." She smiled, flicking her tail. Hawkkit and Shrikekit nodded in unison.
"Ravenmist needs to get better soon so she can tell us stories about the old forest!"
"Yeah!"
"She does." Starlingfur agreed. She does. "And I'm sure she'd be more than happy to. But for now.. Birchtail and I can keep telling those." She looked back to her mate, eyes soft, before returning her gaze to her kits and going on. "And then.. There was Dapplekit."
"Why doesn't she have a bird name, like the rest of us?"
Starlingfur paused. Hesitance in her lowered eyes. "Her... father chose her name." She meowed finally. It had been his suggestion, beforepaw. Though.. he hadn't named her when she had been born. Of course not. He hadn't even.. Hadn't even spoken to her. Even while one kit lie- no. It was past. It was past. It had passed. But Starclan, how much pain she had endured. Birthing her kits alone, teaching her kits alone, raising her kits alone, watching her kits die alone. The queen's eyes quivered. She had never been an emotional cat. In her youth, she hadn't cared. But after... After that.. She had cut it all off. Thinking it better to feel nothing than the pain. In the moons... The seasons that had passed since then.. She had learned otherwise. Her friends had taught her otherwise. Her sister, her nieces and nephews. Her kits. And most of all.. Birchtail. But old scars still burned when brushed. It was several moments before Starlingfur managed to continue.
"Dapplekit was.. headstrong." She finally decided on the word. For all that Dapplefall had changed throughout her life, that had stayed the same. Starlingfur had loved her daughter dearly. But her daughter.. Sometimes.. In her heart of hearts, Starlingfur had wondered if she'd felt the same. "She knew what she wanted, and went out and got it." Even if.. It got her hurt. Starlingfur's soft eyes flickered. Even if cats warned her against it. Even if she lost cats that she loved because of it. But Starlingfur.. she had never stopped loving her. For all the distance put between them, for all the cold words.. She'd always loved her daughter. "She couldn't stand to sit still, when she was young. She always wanted to be some place new. Always wanted to try something new. She would have had plenty of stories to share with all of you." If she would have even wanted to, the deepest of Starlingfur's hearts crowed. But even in the case of her younger siblings by the same father.. Dapplefall had never wanted anything to do with them. She idolized their father, pushing away her mother, relatives, and eventually the rest of her siblings. Eventually the rest of her clan. "She was intelligent. She knew how to speak, even if she often alternated between silence and chatter." Starlingfur went on without missing a beat. "Her name would be Dapplefall as an adult. And she was beautiful." She murmured. "Due to an injury, she was never able to finish her training. We all loved her all the same. The entire clan did." She remembered the gasps of horror when Boltfang had first brought Dapplepaw back. The visitors she garnered. Sandpaw, urging her to play. Lightfeather, bringing her mice. Thrushpaw and Ravenpaw trying to cheer her up. Flamestripe working incessantly. All the well wishes. Never would she become a warrior. But always would she be Starlingfur's daughter. A part of their family. And always would Starlingfur love her.
Always would Starlingfur love all of them. And always would she miss them.
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Post by Shad on Oct 30, 2015 17:47:34 GMT
Flickerkit's family had come to visit. Of course Flickerkit's family had come to visit. Lately it seemed like none of them had lives that did not revolve around having at least 1 of them up in her nest, in her face, at any given time. Flickerkit was getting real sick of Flickerkit's family coming to visit! The brown shekit was awake, and yet she was also not. She was floating in that strange in-between place where she dimly was aware of the voices around her, could even focus in on them if she chose, but still the blackness of sleep clung close to her fur. She knew Hawkkit was beside her. If not for all the other hangers-on she likely would have woken up to greet him, but that meant dealing with the rest of them and Flickerkit just did not feel like it today. She was too tired. Then Ternkit settled in. Flickerkit resisted the urge to curl her lip. Her sister had no concept of personal space. Even when they shared a nest the blasted shekit had always been an annoying nestmate. Here Flickerkit thought that now she was in exile at the Elder's Den she would be free of that. No. Of course she wasn't. Star Clan forbid she be comfortable for two minutes. A spicy scent, crisp and hot, drifted over the shekit's nose. Shrikekit. He probably knew Flickerkit was faking. He always knew. He was a goddamn lie detector. There was a reason Flickerkit never lied when she was younger - Shrikekit always knew anyways so there was no point. Lately though, much to her surprise, he had been slipping up. Sometimes her half-truths managed to slip by the tom. It occurred to Flickerkit that maybe their distance had changed them. Maybe she was too different now. Maybe a wall had sprung up between them while they weren't looking. Moons ago, a younger Flickerkit would have latched onto this idea with fiendish delight, seeing it as a way to pull all sorts of mischief without her honorable brother getting in the way and talking sense into her. Now, she simply saw it as just another way 'her family' was not truly hers any more. - It as just another way in which Flickerkit no longer belonged. Starlingfur was telling a story. A history lesson of their family tree. Her Papa tried to wake her up but Flickerkit was having none of it. What did she care about old cats and old clans? Could they make her better again? Could they let her walk? No, they couldn't. The shekit settled back further into her dreams, her ears only mildly listening and only catching half of what Starlingfur was blabbering about. Until she talked about something that made Flickerkit's ears snap to attention and her head dart up, amber eyes wide and searching. She likely startled Hawkkit and Ternkit half out of the nest, but her attention was locked on Starlingfur now. "She didn't finish her training 'cuz she got hurt?" the little brown kit demanded, reaffirming what she had thought she had heard. Now, suddenly, she wished she had been listening more as she grappled with the sleep-hazed memory trying to find a name. "Dapplefall?" she prompted. "She didn't become a Warrior?!" A tiny sliver of hope broke into the shecat's voice, the first she had in a while. |
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A flaming sword of burning righteousness and also fire!
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Post by ♏aple♢ on Nov 6, 2015 23:28:19 GMT
Onwards Starlingfur had been ready to continue. She would have skipped through the negative areas. The kits wouldn't need to know about those times. Onto the birth of their second litter of older siblings. Onto the creation of Dawnclan. Onto the journey, and onto the settling of the clans in their new territory. But before she could breach any of those topics, Flickerkit shot from her nest. Or rather.. shot straight up from it, sending Ternkit and Hawkkit tumbling. Starlingfur blinked in surprise, and Shrikekit mirrored the expression. Had Flickerkit finally decided to join their story time? Starlingfur smiled.
She was asking about Dapplefall. In hindsight... such a thing wasn't surprising. Of course that would be the part of the conversation that she would pick up on. Not nearly as full of questions as the other kits- but asking the questions that counted. To Flickerkit at least, Starlingfur would believe. After all, they were both injured. In one way or another. When the injury had first happened.. Starlingfur had seen so much of Dapplefall in Flickerkit. Now, the feeling had waned. Flickerkit was her own kit, with her own set of problems. The ways that she needed to deal with them were different. From time to time, she could still see similarities in her attitude- but Flickerkit was very much her own. And it made.. Starlingfur happy that she would ask. She was happy at the hope in her voice- that slight elevation in tone that she hadn't heard in so long. What was going through her mind, she wondered?
"She didn't." the she-cat confirmed. "She was hurt by a pair of rogues, and her back leg was permanently injured. She was unable to complete her training, and retired early to the elder's den."
At times... Starlingfur wondered if Flickerkit would do the same. Ravenface treated her day in and day out, and the little she-cat showed signs of recovery. At this rate, it seemed as though her apprenticeship would only be delayed. If the case were that she could never become a warrior.. she would regret the future that her daughter would be missing out on, yes. For her daughter's sake. She had seen how badly it had affected Dapplefall. How badly it had affected Fogface, her own daughter or no. But she would be proud of her no matter what came. She was her kit, after all. Her beautiful, bright daughter. What mother wouldn't be? There were plenty of roles in the clan that didn't require warriors. Even so, Starlingfur rooted for her recovery all the same. |
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Post by Shad on Nov 7, 2015 0:39:43 GMT
The kit's body caught up to her head in hardly more than a moment and her limbs went out from under her, flopping her back down in her nest, hardly after she had finished her question. That was not what sent her reeling though. Nor was it what put a lump of dread and revulsion heavy like a rock in her stomach. The Elder's Den? So... here? If she did not become a Warrior she had to live here? For the rest of forever?! Flickerkit's amber eyes were wide with horror, her mouth dropping open in shock. She would have to live here. Alone. Forever and ever. She... well she had always thought... The little brown kit licked her suddenly dry lips as she looked down at her paws, coming to grips with the miserable life that awaited her if she never got out of this nest. She had been afraid of failing her Warrior's Assessment, true, but she always assumed, as kits will do, that even if she did everything would somehow be okay. Children lived in a fantasy world sometimes, unable to see the horrors that awaited them in the real world until adulthood came and ripped away the world's shimmering, fantastical curtain to reveal the truth underneath. Young Flickerkit was far from an adult, but that veil was getting torn down more and more with each day. She had been so sure. She just knew that even if she failed... well, she was not sure what she expected. Maybe that she would be stuck as an apprentice forever, always retaking her assessment until she could get it right. Or something like that. Not that she had wanted to fail, but she was not so dense as to not realize it was a distinct possibility. To hear she might be stuck for all eternity in this wretched den... The kit was shell-shocked. She stared down at her paws, without really seeing them. So that was it then. If she failed, she would be doomed to an Elder. Doomed to the horrible den with its horrible walls and its horrible nest and its horrible lack of sunlight until the day Star Clan took her. I'd rather die, the kit thought grimly. In truth, she would. Death would be far preferable to the fate that might await her. The fate she now realized would be all too close someday. Suddenly, Flickerkit did not want to become an apprentice any more. Not any time soon. She was not ready! She would never pass. Not like this. Flickerkit had always felt anger since being brought here. Anger that cats looked at her like she was weak. Fury that she could not move as she wished. Pain-fueled Hatred at all the hints others dropped, suspecting her to be dead in the morning. It might be expected for her to start putting the pieces together now and fly into a rage. That her mother had just dropped her here in the Elder's Den because they had completely given up hope on her. That they fully expected this to be her home in the future and were just saving themselves some time. It was enough to make any cat furious. But Flickerkit looked inside herself and felt no rumbling flames, no burning passion, no heat. It felt like that fire had just... died. Smothered under the weight of the truth of what she very well might one day become. For the first time, Flickerkit saw everyone's looks in a different light. Maybe... maybe they hoped she would die. Maybe that was why she had always heard them talk as they did. They knew what awaited her and hoped death would claim her before she was forced into a life worse than the grave. The little brown kit had always fought them off, but now that fire was gone. Now she felt cold. Now... Now Flickerkit numbly put her head on her paws, amber eyes distant and unfocused. Now she found she agreed with them. Death would be better. The little kit remained quiet after that. No longer interrupting. No longer really listening, even in passing. She did not respond to Hawkkit or Ternkit's playful taunts. Shrikekit tried to catch her gaze, but Flickerkit's dull brown eyes merely bore a hole into the den floor. The fire was out. And she could not feel anything passed the numbing cold. |
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Post by Kibbles on Nov 8, 2015 22:38:15 GMT
Ternkit looked at Starlingfur, then to Birchtail, then to Flickerkit. Her flattened to her head slightly. Wow, it got really depressing in here, didn't it? What a bad way to end the story. Wait, was the story even over? All of these cats she was learning about weren't around. Mama was surely going to explain where they were, right?
She looked up at her mother, a big smile on her face now.
"Come on, mama! What happened to everyone? Where'd they go?" she asked. She then let out a super loud gasp. "Are they in Marshclan? Are they traitors? Oh, I'll go bring them back, mama!"
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Birchtail licked Flickerkit's head a bit. She was young. She didn't understand what happened to Dapplefall. She also didn't understand that, unlike Starlingfur's previous daughter, Flickerkit still had a chance. She was healing. Slowly, but surely. She was healing and she would become an apprentice and even a warrior one day. He was sure of it.
Plus, he had told her that he would help her. He had promised that to himself. And Birchtail wasn't one to go back on his promises. Especially not ones he gave to his family.
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