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Post by Kibbles on Sept 28, 2015 18:26:18 GMT
Her heart pound quickly in her chest and the sound of blood was the only thing she heard. She had her teeth bared towards the ginger tom, pelt bristling. Her one golden eye was pouring out tears. why was this happening? Why did it have to be him? She still remembered the day he was born. The day she had named him. She remembered watching him grow up into a fun, young, and strong warrior. How he had told her he had fallen in love and become amtes with a lovely she-cat. how he was howling in the camp about how he was going to become a father. And yet, what had happened?
Darkness surrounded them. Screams of pain and broken hearts. Blood covered his ginger tabby pelt. His mate and kits laid behind him, not moving. The kits were so badly torn apart that they were barely recognizable. Little Skykit, brave Redkit, smart Cloudkit, and funny Sheepkit. His own kits... he had done this to his own kits. He had done this to his own mate. Littlefawn hadn't deserved this.
Then, he leaped at her. The two cats rolled across the ground, claws unsheathed and teeth biting into each other. She tore into his pelt as he tore into hers. They rolled over dead bodies of their clanmates, bumped into others running away, and even accidentally pushed others into the fighting. Her cream pelt was splattered in blood, hers and her son's, as well as many others. It seemed like it took forever.
Then, he was suddenly pinned under her.
"You lied to me! You made me do this! You said Starclan was here to protect us! I killed my family so that I could live! So they would let me live! Why did you come in?! Why did you have to watch me kill them? I'll kill you! I'LL KILL YOU!" he screamed at her.
She looked at him, confused. He had gone mad. He wasn't making much sense to her. She sobbed once. "No... I didn't do this, Foxtooth. You're my son. I love you. I always have! You can still run! Run from here!"
She let him up, but that was a mistake. She was suddenly pinned under him, her claws reaching up instinctively. She felt as her claws caught his flesh and then blood splattered down onto her face. He fell, landing beside her. Her head turned to face him and she watched as he bled out through his throat, his eyes filled with a crazed anger that turned to sadness and regret.
"N-no! Foxtooth!" she cried as she moved over to stop the bleeding. She cried out.
"I-I lo-ove you, ma...mama. I'm so-sorry. I lo-love...,"
The light left his eyes. She cried out.
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Suddenly, she was jolted awake and she saw bright blue eyes in front of her. She let out a scream, backing away, thinking it was Foxtooth. Her claws lashed out and she struck the ginger cat across the chest. When she blinked, though, she saw Poolkit staring at her, wide eyes filled with fear.
"Rookshadow... why are you crying and screaming?" she cried.
Rookshadow panicked. She had struck a kit. She had struck Poolkit, her own adopted daughter. She could see the wide, shocked stares from some clan mates. Her head began shaking quickly.
"N-no... Go away, Poolkit! Go! You shouldn't be near me," she sobbed loudly, panicked as she backed away from the wounded kit, although Poolkit seemed more worried about her than her own scratches. As the kit moved closer, Rookshadow let out a hiss, causing the kit to back away and stare at her with fear.
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A flaming sword of burning righteousness and also fire!
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Post by ♏aple♢ on Sept 29, 2015 19:51:29 GMT
When you get to the end of your rope, Tie a knot and hang on.
Though it was the middle of the day, Starlingfur had only been dozing when she heard the shriek. Immediately she'd started, claws unsheathed and eyes piercing. So much had been going on lately. So much to keep a cat on their toes. Death. Illness. And the coming Leaf-Bare. A cat had to be ready for anything- but this was the one thing Starlingfur had not been ready for. When she finally found the source of the shriek, she found Rookshadow. Cowering against the wall of the den, cornered by a red kit.
Starlingfur rose softly from her nest, careful not to disturb her sleeping kits, and made her way through the den. Her movements were careful and quiet, but obvious enough for Rookshadow to see through the warm mid-day sunlight. The scent of fresh blood alerted her to an injury before she saw it- a spash of red dribbling down Poolkit's forehead, just darker than her coat. Starlingfur let out a soft breath, brow furrowing before approaching the two.
"Poolkit, why don't you go see Ravenface? She'll want to take a look at that scratch. Your mother can talk to you when you get back. Okay?" she smiled gently, moving to Rookshadow's side and crouching down to the kit's level. Reassuring. Wise. The last thing that they wanted here was a panic. And a queen attacking a young kit- well.... that was certainly something that would cause such a thing.
Once the kit had gone, Starlingfur looked back up to Rookshadow. Her eyes were soft and sympathetic. Her oldest, dearest friend. She knew how much she'd gone through. But since the reformation of the clans... They hadn't had much time to talk.. had they? Clearly something was troubling the queen. And if it was troubling her enough to make her strike out at her own adopted daughter, then... "Rookshadow, lets the two of us take a walk outside of camp. The fresh air will do you some good." The kits were still sound asleep. And if they awoke while the two of them were gone- there were three other queens in the nursery. They would be fine. What was important now was making sure that Rookshadow was.
384 words | Starlingfur | Midday |
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Post by Kibbles on Sept 29, 2015 22:49:46 GMT
Poolkit looked up at Starlingfur as she spoke to her. Her blue eyes looked over towards Rookshadow again, before nodding. "Take care of mama, Starlingfur. She's kind of freaked out. I think she had a bad dream," she said. She then looked over at her adopted mother.
"Don't worry, Rookshadow, remember what you tell me when I have a bad dream? They aren't real. I'll keep you safe! I'm a big cat now, I'll chase away the bad things! But after I get the small accident fixed up! I'll be back!"
Poolkit turned sharply and bounded towards the medicine cat den.
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Rookshadow looked over at Starlingfur, wide eyes still. Her head nodded once, shaking still. She got to her legs and walked over towards the entrance, legs shaking still. She looked at the ground as she walked, not wanting to see how she was being looked at.
She was a well respected cat, she always had been. She was known for a calm personality, for her forgiveness, for her loving nature. This... this added a wound to her reputation. A warrior attacking a kit. A mother attacking her daughter. How does that make her look? She could only imagine.
But perhaps she was overreacting about this. She wasn't sure. All she knew at the moment was that she attacked Poolkit in the middle of the clan camp and that Starlingfur wanted to talk. She was in trouble. She had to be. She had let her apprentice die on that patrol and now she did this. Was her closest friend going to exile her? Was she going to have to wonder the forest alone for the rest of her life?
She had so many thoughts going on in her head she hadn't realized she had stopped right outside the clan entrance.
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A flaming sword of burning righteousness and also fire!
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Post by ♏aple♢ on Oct 3, 2015 3:44:42 GMT
When you get to the end of your rope, Tie a knot and hang on.
Copper eyes were sympathetic as the tabby nodded to Poolkit. "Of course. We'll be just fine, Poolkit." she smiled. Starlingfur wasn't sure how long Rookshadow had been raising the kit, but it was obvious that she was doing a fine job. Even when wounded, the kit was still so worried about her mother... Such a sweetheart. Just like Rookshadow's other kits. And just like Rookshadow herself. The queen would never do a thing like this on purpose- Starlingfur knew her too well. There had to be a deeper reason. Starlingfur watched as Poolkit left the nursery, trotting off in the direction of Ravenmist's den.
Rookshadow's eye was wide as she looked at Starlingfur. Understandably so. Starlingfur might not always understand all cats the best- but she knew her closest friend. She was obviously shaken, and the leader let her lead the way as the two left the den. Thankfully, stepping out into the sunlight, it was clear that few cats were awake. As a night-operating clan, the only cats in the clearing were less than a pawful of those just returning from the Sunhigh patrol. Starlingfur nodded to them levely- walking beside Rookshadow in such a way that the one-eyed warrior was out of view. Not completely- but just enough to obscure her face. Rookshadow was an honorable cat- one with a fine reputation. And a well deserved one. Cedarclan's leader wouldn't have that sullied.
It was only once they'd reached the bramble tunnel that Rookshadow stopped. Starlingfur had gotten a few paces ahead when she noticed- then turning to face the cream queen. Her body shook. Her pupils were constricted. Starlingfur's expression was empathetic. Things... had not been easy, lately. Not for Cedarclan. And especially not for Rookshadow. Starlingfur had wondered, in the long nights since that fateful patrol, if it had been a good idea to send her and her apprentice on that patrol. Perhaps it had been foolish, sending all of her closest warriors to meet their rival clan. But it had been a show of trust. And that trust had cost them too much. Was that, perhaps, what Rookshadow was feeling guilt over?
Starlingfur padded back, brushing her fur against Rookshadow's. Just slightly- just enough to be comforting. Starlingfur had never been a.... touchy, cat. But she could see that her friend was having trouble. "Would you like to go further out, or speak here? I want to know what is troubling you, Rookshadow." The health, both physical and mental, of her warriors was important to Starlingfur. And that of her most senior warriors- her closest companions? Even moreso.
450 words | Starlingfur | Midday |
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Post by Kibbles on Oct 3, 2015 22:11:06 GMT
"Huh?" she asked, looking up. She could see Starlingfur staring at her and it was clear the leader was waiting on her to answer. After a moment, it dawned on the cream she-cat that her friend had asked her if she wanted to move further into the forest to talk or if here was fine.
Her heart dropped. Did Starlingfur want to move deeper into the forest so that it would be easier to chase her away? Oh, she had really messed up this time. She wouldn't be so easy to get rid of, though. No, she sat right down where she was, her golden eyes still looking at Starlingfur.
"Oh, just some bad dreams. I haven't had one in a while," she said quietly, shrugging. She looked at the ground and then shook ehr head. "Dreams about the war."
She couldn't stand to see Starlingfur looking at her that way. She was so tired of being worried over. She hated it when the cats worried over her after her injury and now it was going to start all over again because she had attacked Poolkit. Lovely. All that reputation she had was gone.
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A flaming sword of burning righteousness and also fire!
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Post by ♏aple♢ on Oct 4, 2015 5:31:06 GMT
When you get to the end of your rope, Tie a knot and hang on.
"Mmm." Starlingfur made a commental noise, taking her own seat a tail-length away as Rookshadow sat down. Evidently, she didn't want to go any farther out. And while the bramble tunnel wasn't the ideal place to talk.. It would keep them shielded. And it was unlikely that they would be blocking anyone's way, this time of day. Plus- they could keep an eye on Poolkit, and any abnormalitis in the nursery. Starlingfur wrapped her tail around her paws, allowing herself to get more comfortable. By the looks of things, this talk wouldn't be a quick one. And hopefully by relaxing, she would put her friend more at lease. It looked like Rookshadow would need it.
The war. Starlingfur lowered her copper eyes with a soft exhale. Yes. It made sense that it would trouble the she-cat. That it would trouble any of them. All had lost so much throughout the past seasons. Siblings. Lovers. Kits. None would know more of the last two than Starlingfur and Rookshadow. Both had witnessed the deaths of their kits in the final battle that drove Dawnclan from its home. The home in which they now resided anew. Though it had been rebuilt from the ground up, the wounds of the past were still as sharp as the thorns that lined the camp. It had been through so much. They had all been through so much. "Sometimes... I wake up, and I still think I can smell the blood..." Starlingfur whispered. There were so few that she could confide in. But Rookshadow- Rookshadow, she would trust with her life. Surely Rookshadow knew that she could trust her, too.
"Was there any part of the war in particular, that stuck out from your dream?" she pressed gently.
308 words | Starlingfur | Midday |
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Post by Kibbles on Oct 12, 2015 18:08:15 GMT
Rookshadow looked at her best friend with her sad eye. She wasn't the only one that had these things. She blinked away the tears as she thought about the war and sighed. It was a ragged sigh as he emotions took over again. This had to get under control before things got worse. She should just leave.
She rolled her eye at the thought. Now she was conflicted about this. Should she leave or should she stay? Her heart was with the clan, with her family and friends. And yet, if she stayed, she might harm the others. Wouldn't she? But what if that was the last time? It hadn't happened in a while. And yet it could still happen. She never knew when it would happen again.
Her golden eye stared into Starlingufur's and she gave a nervous and emotional laugh. "A lot of it stands out. I'm sure it does for all of us who were there. Seeing our friends and family dead. Watching our home be destroyed and thinking we would be alone forever. But... that's not what you were asking," she said.
She sobbed once before continuing.
"I killed my own son, Starlingfur. I sliced his throat open. He... he was going to kill me. He wasn't in his right mind. And yet, I never wanted to hurt him. I loved him. I love him. He is my son. And I murdered him. What kind of mother kills their own kit?" she asked.
She shook her head and laid on the ground, covering her face with her paws as the tears appeared. She shook violently as her emotions came bubbling up finally. She hadn't had a chance to let these happen. She had been strong for far too long for survival and so Poolkit never had to worry.
"Poolkit looks so much like him... Her orange fur and blue eyes. Starclan is reminding me of what I did and I'm trying to change it. Poolkit is a reminder of what I did and I have to keep her safe." she sobbed.
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A flaming sword of burning righteousness and also fire!
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Post by ♏aple♢ on Oct 15, 2015 21:45:27 GMT
When you get to the end of your rope, Tie a knot and hang on.
Starlingfur shook her head, eyes soft and distant. It did. The war had.. Taken everything from them. Everything. Starlingfur could only imagine how much worse it had to be for a cat who was clanborn- a cat like Rookshadow. Starlingfur may have built a life for herself among the clans, but Rookshadow had been born into it. For all of that to have been taken away.. It had to be devistating. Starclan knew how much they all suffered. How much all of them were still suffering. A few clean dens and some new names wouldn't change that. Nothing would.
Foxtooth. A bright, energetic young tom. One with a hopeful future and a family on the way. He'd always smiled so much. Yes, Starlingfur had known him. They all had. Even without a name, Starlingfur knew who Rookshadow spoke of. With fur red as fire and blue eyes bright as the sky, there could be no-one else. Starlingfur.. Had been there. She had seen, from her place near the nursery as she tried to defend her own kits. Just out of the corner of her eye- but it was something that not even she could forget. Losing your kit was hard on any mother. Starlingfur knew from experience. But to take one's life with your own paws... Starlingfur's distant eyes wavered. She couldn't even begin to imagine the pain.
"The kind who has no other choice." Starlingfur murmured, looking up to meet Rookshadow's one golden eye. Her own coppers were pained with memory. She remembered their screams. All of them. Cicadasong, Thrushwing.. The memories haunted her every nightmare. "Foxtooth was a good tom. But... something happened to them." she shook her head, eyes lowering once more. Whispers of the Dark Forest, or something else. Nobody really knew what had gone wrong. But kit turning against mother, mentor turning against apprentice... It hadn't been right. And nothing could make it right. "Good cats were... changed. I'm sorry that Foxtooth had to be among them."
Starlingfur hesitated, then. She was never an... Emotional, cat. Not outwardly, at the very least. Quiet and distant was her nature. Empathy and sympathy- understanding and relating to the emotions of others- these were not things that she was known for. But seeing Rookshadow like this.. One of the few friends she had left in this world, and the longest she'd kept.. A brave warrior who had been through far too much in her lifetime and yet kept fighting. Her heart went out for the she-cat. Gently, Starlingfur put a paw on her shoulder as the cream queen was racked with sobs. She rubbed her fur reassuringly, eyes soft. "Poolkit loves you, Rookshadow. Neither she, nor your clanmates will blame you for your past sufferings. If this is... Starclan giving you another chance, then they believe in you. She believes in you. Things will be... okay, now. We have a clan. Friends, family. And Poolkit will grow up, never having to know the harshness of that war. You are a good mother to her."
522 words | Starlingfur | Midday |
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Post by Kibbles on Oct 16, 2015 0:31:48 GMT
Rookshadow flinched a bit when Starlingfur's paw touched her. She hadn't expected such a gentle touch after what had happened. But when she realized it was just her leader's paws, and not the claws, she relaxed.
Her sobs continued for a bit as she listened to her best friend's words. They helped calmed her, if only a little. She no longer shook with sobs, but she still had some tears streaming down her once beautiful face. She sobbed every once and a while as she took ragged breaths. She still shook, but it wasn't nearly as noticeable.
"I will do better for her. I have to. If not, then... Then I don't know what will happen. I have to become stronger. To protect her. And my future apprentices. I am Crowstar's daughter. I have to show everyone that I am a powerful warrior like him. But... how?" she said, the question aimed towards herself rather than Starlingfur.
She sighed and shook her head. She wasn't young, but nor was she older. She was a senior warrior who was supposed to be helping the clan. And what has she done so far? Let Patchpaw die and attacked a kit. Nothing that looks good towards her. Yet, all she had ever gotten from her family and friends was encouragement and comfort. She wasn't sure why she had expected anything else this time around.
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A flaming sword of burning righteousness and also fire!
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Post by ♏aple♢ on Oct 18, 2015 22:27:04 GMT
When you get to the end of your rope, Tie a knot and hang on.
Starlingfur soothed her friend the best she could. And when her words ran dry, she simply sat there with her. Shielding her from the rest of the world, rubbing gentle circles over her shoulders. Starlingfur was reminded of Thrushwing, in times like these. Her own son, once so bright and kind. But the world... that beast... and the war.. had not been nearly so kind to him. She hoped that he had found peace in Starclan. For those still living, however... Rookshadow, Crooked-Eye, Swanstrike, and yes, Starlingfur... Life would not be easy for any of them. It never had been, and it seemed now that it never would be. But... that didn't mean they couldn't try.
"Rebuilding this clan and honoring the memory of your son and ancestors. That is already better." she murmured, leaning down to touch her nose to Rookshadow's ear. She sighed. Her own questions upon returning to the territories- she could hear them, echoed in Rookshadow's words. How could she be good enough? She was never meant to lead- never meant to take care of kits- never meant to function in a group like this. And yet, despite all odds, she'd perservered. Cedarclan was doing well, despite their troubles. Starlingfur was doing well. And Starlingfur knew that Rookshadow could do well- even flourish here again. And she would, if Starlingfur had any say in it. "You must find your own way." she finally meowed, pulling away.
The she-cat looked into the forest. Leaves dappled the earth, and their tunnel was shaded in reds and golden, vibrant as a sunset. There was a breeze in the air, and the trees couldn't have stretched higher. Leaf-Fall. The season of change. The season of redemption. The season of sacrifice. "But no matter what you do, know that you have your clanmates and family beside you. Birchtail. Fernheart. Poolkit." a pause.
"Me."
"You are a respected senior warrior, and one who cats look to for advice. But you needn't feel ashamed of looking to others for help and support." Copper eyes were soft as they fell back down, meeting Rookshadow's singular golden. "...We are here for you."
373 words | Starlingfur | Midday |
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Post by Kibbles on Oct 21, 2015 17:10:04 GMT
Rookshadow listened to Starlingfur carefully. She had family and friends. Fernheart. Birchtail. Poolkit. Boltfang. Starlingfur. So many cats she could rely on. Why had she thought she was going to get kicked out? Why had she thought they were going to chase her away for accidentally attacking her adopted daughter? She was so mouse-brained. She was acting like a scared apprentice and now she even felt a bit embarrassed.
She sat up and nodded once. "I, uh, I apologize for this, Starlingfur. I didn't mean to cause such a scene. Its just been so long since, well, since everything. I guess I had forgotten how others view me," she said. 'Although there isn't any reason to view me as a respected warrior. I've done nothing except bare kits that have all left me or died. I'll change that, though. I'll show them that I can be an actual warrior.'
"Thank you, Starlingfur. I owe you so much. I'll get better... slowly. But I'll get better."
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