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Post by Thunderstruck on Sept 2, 2015 3:43:09 GMT
The moon was sitting low in the sky, not completely risen yet, but sitting low enough to notice, The sun was setting on the horizon, giving an unusual site in the sky. One bright white ball, and one pale white gray ball, sitting in the sky like the eyes of a giant cat, watching everyone from the sky. Boltfang's nose rose to the air and sniffed, gently inhaling all the scents around him. A lot of cats had been this way, most of them he had come to be comfortable around, for a short period of time anyway. A few of them were still unknown to him, or didn't like him. He didn't complain though. He didn't remember why they were mad at him, no one would tell him. He got an answer, one that hurt him more than not knowing.
"What are you doing out here all by yourself?"
Boltfang's ears rose and he turned to face the cat from which the voice came. Thunderstar was walking up towards him, very slowly he approached Boltfang and took a seat in front of him. Boltfang turned to face him more fully before replying. Boltfang wasn't in the camp the new group had set up, no he took a short walk outside the camp walking among the trees thinking to himself, before taking a seat to watch the sunset.
"I just... wanted to spend some time... with my thoughts...."
"I figured you would have wanted to spend some time with your mate, you know... being seperated for a year and all..."
"I.... Just wanted to be alone..."
Boltfang shifted slightly looking Thunderstar up and down before sighing.
"Besides, why are you asking? Why does... it matter?"
"I was just... checking on you.."
Thunderstar stood up and walked away, as he was walking he flashed Boltfang a look of confusion before heading off into the now darkening forest. With a short sigh Boltfang decided it was time for him to head home, but as he began walking, his thoughts began to wander.
You really seem to have a hostile response to most of these other cats. For someone who was so sure they wanted to be here, you aren't very accepting of others. laughing at your 'mate', lashing out at your friends, spending most of your free time by yourself. Are you sure you should be here?
Who are you to start questioning my decisions, or how I treat others? it's better than letting you lose and having you attacking everything that has a pulse.
At least I would keep us safe, no need to start trusting others, all it's going to do is cause you more and more problems as everyone let's you down. You're setting yourself up for more pain and suffering than you can handle. You're going to need me here.
Why would I need you here?
When you finally do lose it. When that final straw snaps, and you get thrown over the edge. When everything in your world finally crumbles and you're failures are their to consume you. I will protect us. I will continue on. You will finally understand why your outlook is doomed to fail.
With that Boltfang paused right outside the camp entrance. He could walk in, find his mate, spend some time with her before the night ended, maybe speak with some of the others, try and make things a little easier on him.
But he turned around and sat down, looking into the night. How comfortable he had become with the dark in his solitude. He could easily just walk out into the night and not look back. But that would break him both emotionally and mentally. He couldn't give up his new family. Something about that idea just made him well with self loathing. He didn't know where it was coming from, but it filled him from head to tail with a sagging depression. Boltfang sat in silence looking out into the darkness for some time, waiting, not thinking, not talking, just sitting, in silence.
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Post by Kibbles on Sept 5, 2015 2:21:02 GMT
Fernheart pushed out of the camp, ears perked and mouth open. She breathed in the scents and blinked as she quickly caught her mate's scent. She turned and saw him sitting alone, looking rather down. She purred a bit, attempting to cheer him up, as she moved over. She circled him, tail trailing along his chest, shoulder, back, and then other shoulder, before she finally sat down beside him and licked his black and white cheek.
"What's wrong, Boltfang?" she asked, nuzzling into him. She hoped he wasn't regretting joining the clan. Or being with her. The two had their rough patches and they haven't had it easy, but they had pushed through. But he might be tired of pushing with her.
Her green eyes clouded over a bit as the thought of him wanting to be with another she-cat came to her mind.
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Post by Thunderstruck on Sept 5, 2015 2:31:02 GMT
Boltfang's ears rose at the sound of a cat behind him, when the purr he recognized so familiarly His head turned and followed the black and white she cat as she trailed around him before she took a seat near him. He looked at her face and sighed quietly before meeting her gaze.
She should be sick of asking that question.
Go away...
It's true, you're never happy.
....
"Nothing... much... I guess... I think.... I... Don't... know..."
And she's your mate? I'm disgusted.
SHUT UP!
Boltfang shook his head before trying again, this time he took a deep breath and tried to actually speak. His words came out a bit more clearly, almost like his old self again. Being around cats and having to converse had started to put Boltfang into a more stable mindset, with that came a more fluent speech pattern and a generally decent cat to be around, but it also made him a little more clear on exactly why cats weren't very fond of him.
"Nothing much, I suppose. I'm just taking a walk. Thinking about... everything. Everything seems so hard to grasp nowadays It's almost like a dream."
Boltfang took a short pause before continuing.
"I've also been thinking about our family..."
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Post by Kibbles on Sept 5, 2015 2:35:08 GMT
Her ears perked a bit and she nodded. It was almost like a dream. She had been so convinced that she was going to live the rest of her life alone and crazy, yet the clans were coming back. She wasn't alone anymore. She had her mate, Boltfang. Her brother, Birchtail, was here. Even her aunt, Rookshadow. What was left of her family was together, here. Hopefully never separating again until they each head to Starclan, whenever that may be.
She looked at him. "Our family? What about our family?" she asked curiously. Their kits were gone, in Starclan with the rest of her family. They were safe, and hopefully, watching over her and Boltfang.
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Post by Thunderstruck on Sept 5, 2015 4:32:42 GMT
Boltfang sighed. Their family, their long, departed family. Eaglestrike, Lightningstorm, Icywind.... to name a few, Boltfang and Fernheart's family always ended in tragedy. It should have been different. Part of Boltfang hoped it was, but he wasn't sure.
"I miss our kits, I miss our clan. I miss our family. It feels like they've been taken from us unfairly. it's not fair."
Boltfang looked to the stars and his fur grew hot, He felt like his kits were watching him with disappointment. All of Starclan was probably laughing at him for what he was going through, just waiting for the next tragedy to role in so they could watch the show again. It made him fill with rage at the thought, But he calmed down after a little while and looked back at Fernheart.
"I just want things to be different."
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Post by Kibbles on Sept 5, 2015 23:55:40 GMT
She licked his cheek and twined their tails together. She missed everything they had too. Their large family, her other siblings, her father, her uncle, her mother, Stormclan, and Duskclan. So many things and she knew none of them were coming back. Sometimes she wished this was all just a bad dream and she would wake up any moment now. But this dream was taking a long time and she's finally concluded that this was real life.
"I know, Boltfang. But it's what we have to go through. We can't change what has happened, but we can affect the future. So let's make it a better one for the future generations. Let's make it so that they will always have a clan and protection from the Dark Forest. We can do that together. You and me. And the others as well. We can't dwell on the past," she said.
"We have to continue to push forward, like we've always done and like we're always going to do. We are one of the strongest, if not the strongest, mates in the forest. So much has tried to keep us apart but we told them that we are going to be together. We told them that the only thing that was going to keep us apart was death itself. And even then, we'll fight our way to be next to each other. We're broken now. But we will prevail and fix ourselves. We can get through anything together."
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Post by Thunderstruck on Sept 6, 2015 0:08:22 GMT
Boltfang sighed. it wasn't a sad one, but it wasn't very happy either. it was just there. Kind of how he felt, but Then Fernheart started speaking. Boltfang's ears rose slightly and his eyes were concentrated on his mate. Strongest mates in the forest? Boltfang had to admit, from everything he remembered, this relationship was all but forsaken from the beginning. Every turn they took together, always seemed to end in more death and suffering, more pain. Enough suffering and heartache to drive weaker cats to the other ends of Starclan to avoid each other. And yet, the only thing they seemed to feel when they found each other was....
"...You honestly believe that we can fight against every possible obstacle that's going to get thrown our way in the moons to come?"
Boltfang paused. Every fight they would face to come, every challenge that was going to come their way in the future, was going to be greater than anything they faced so far, And If memory served, well... if memory bothered to serve, They didn't have an easy life to begin with.
She's insane. She's going to kill you!
...
"I don't think we'll win, but I wouldn't want to stand next to anyone else for every challenge."
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Post by Kibbles on Sept 6, 2015 0:13:18 GMT
Fernheart smiled. It wasn't strong, but nor was it weak. It was a broken one that was slowly being fixed. She nodded at his question. Yes, she truly believed that they would be able to get through anything thrown at them. They may come out battered and scarred, but they would be able to do it.
She nudged his cheek. "We'll win, Boltfang. We aren't alone in this. Not anymore. We know what we're up against and we will figure out what to do. But if there is one thing I learned from my father, it's to never give up," she said, rubbing her cheek against his.
"We'll win. I firmly believe that."
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Post by Thunderstruck on Sept 6, 2015 0:35:46 GMT
A small smile stretched across Boltfang's face, though he couldn't help resisting the urge to roll his eyes. He sighed and pushed his cheek into his mates letting a small purr escape from his throat. She really did have a point, they always seemed to have a knack for telling fate to jump in a thorn bush.
"Alright, we'll win. Somehow. If memory serves, We're pretty good at that too."
Boltfang sighed and then thought about something Fernheart had asked him back at the gathering.
"So, Fernheart, I have something that I wanted to ask you... We're you serious when you asked me about starting a family?"
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Post by Kibbles on Sept 6, 2015 0:48:15 GMT
She purred a bit and brushed against him. "Did it seem like I was joking?" she asked, playfully batting at his ears. She looked up at him with her bright green eyes, although they still looked worn. She purred happily again.
"It never hurts to have more family around," she said, getting to her paws and stretching out. She flexed her claws and sighed a bit. It was a content sigh.
"Why bring that up all of a sudden, though? Have you been thinking about it?"[/b] she asked curiously. Her green eyes moved to meet his blue ones.
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Post by Thunderstruck on Sept 6, 2015 1:07:43 GMT
Boltfang shifted his weight and met his mate's eyes before finally sitting up and stretching himself.
"Kit's are nice to have around. I won't lie about that... They bring a comfort to the clan that can't really be explained. Maybe it's because the new generation comes forward and we can pass on our knowledge.... Maybe it's because they're innocent enough to be as pure as we strive to be."
Boltfang paused and then continued.
"I Just like to play with them."
Boltfang turned and faced his mate more fully once again. Yes he had been considering having another family, it would be nice to have some roots finally established. But it would also be nice for him and Fernheart to focus on something other than surviving together. it'd help them fix themselves, and fix each other.
"I have been thinking about it, yes.... have you?"
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Post by Kibbles on Sept 8, 2015 15:42:50 GMT
Fernheart purred and nodded. Of course she had been thinking about it. She had seen Starlingfur's round belly, as well as Feather's. She also saw Pool, Mistle, and Rose as well. She wanted kits again. She wanted tiny bundles of fur running around her paws, rolling around the middle of the camp. She wanted to watch them get their apprentice and warrior names. She was giddy just thinking about it now.
"Yes, Boltfang. I want kits again," she said. She looked at him and gave him a bright smile. She had enough litters to know when a queen was carrying, even in the early stages.
"And I'll be moving into the nursery soon. We're having kits, Boltfang," she said, looking at him with bright green eyes. She waited to see his reaction.
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Post by Thunderstruck on Sept 8, 2015 15:59:35 GMT
Boltfang perhaps wasn't paying close enough attention when Fernheart told him yes. Perhaps his mind had wandered off on it's own into a realm of wonder and enlightenment that he had been seeking for so long, Perhaps he was pondering the greatest questions life had to offer... What he was doing was much less majestic. Boltfang was dragging a paw over his right ear, the noise had blocked out what Fernheart had said, but the smile on her face made him smile. But, while he may not have been all ears beforehand, He definitely was now. Quickly his eyes looked around his mate, scanning for any signs of her showing.
The nursery? That means....
That means she's carrying your future family, Wonderful Bolt, Wonderful. In case you're hard of remembering, Your kits don't tend to survive past their warrior ceremony. This is going to me quite the joke to watch.
...
Boltfang chose not tp vocalize what exactly had crossed his mind in favor of what he was feeling inside. Boltfang felt the joy wash over him in small waves. By no means was he a stranger to the news of kits on the way. But he did feel a bit strange, Maybe it's because of the long distance they had spent away from each other. Could these even be his kits? What if they weren't. Would it matter to him? They should be his.... Boltfang's mind went back to the gathering, and a smile crossed his face at least.
"So, You go from wanting kits to expecting kits that quickly? Are you sure you still need me around? You seem to be taking care of this already...."
Boltfang stood up and circled around his mate once again looking her over, this time more thoroughly. Maybe it was instinct, or maybe it was something else. But something inside him remained ever vigilant for the possible future, Something inside his heart was screaming a warning. But he couldn't understand why. Should he say something? Was their a reason to worry? Should he be worried?
"You don't look like you're expecting kits, Are you sure?"
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Post by Kibbles on Sept 8, 2015 16:28:24 GMT
Fernheart tilted her head at what he said. She purred a bit as he questioned her. "I'm not too much bigger, but I am a little bit. I only realized earlier today, Boltfang. And Rookshadow confirmed it. I'm sure between the two of us, we'd know if I was expecting. We've had enough litters in our time," she purred a bit.
She nosed his cheek. "You look as if something is bothering you. Whats wrong?" she asked, looking up at her mate again. She examined him closely. He had just said he wanted kits. Was he changing his mind all of sudden now that he found out they were going to be parents again? What was going on in his unpredictable mind?
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Post by Thunderstruck on Sept 9, 2015 3:43:43 GMT
Boltfang's nose twitched as Fernheart as she spoke about Rookshadow and her. So, if she knew than it must have been true, that smile on his face grew slightly bigger. Some would say it's noticeable to cats who don't known Boltfang, others would wonder what's going on in his mind. And as Fernheart asked him what was wrong, those green eyes peering into his blue ones, almost like she was reading him without saying anything.
She can read minds!
...cat's can't read minds...
Starclan can.
Ok first you're complaining about them, now you're speaking about them like you worship them. If one thing I look for in you, it's consistency. And now you can't even seem to keep that straight.
Look at you using big words.
Don't insult me
Well when you do it for yourself it's hard not too.
....
Boltfang had been silent for quite a bit before he realized he hadn't said anything. His fur grew hot with embarrassment at that realization and he shifted his paws and cleared his throat before beginning.
"Nothing's wrong Fernheart, I'd even say I'm a bit excited... But... "
Boltfang couldn't lie to her. Something was bothering him. You see, in Boltfang's long, unknown life, he's always had 'a Bad feeling' This was nothing new to him, Both in his current memory and in his previous, Boltfang always had a feeling that welled up in the pit of his stomach. it was a sludgy feeling, Almost like he had just swallowed an entire clans worth of dirt and washed it down with dirty water. And the sand was just sitting in his stomach. This feeling was here again.
"I'm having that feeling... again..."
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