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Post by Kibbles on Sept 19, 2014 19:05:23 GMT
Birchtail had been glad when his sister, Fernheart, had come to get him. He had missed her greatly and was glad to hear that she was alright. She looked a lot better than she had in the forest. She looked happier, healthier. Plus, she was with her kits and the rest of their family. He purred as she spoke to him about the goings of the forest. The clans were being reformed. Too bad he hadn't gotten Lark-kit to one before he had passed. He also heard that his son, Featherkit, was still alive and was actually with a cat who was training him. He also heard that Lark-kit wasn't alone anymore, that a she-cat had found her and taken her in. And that the she-cat and Lark-kit had buried him.
Finally, when they did make it to Starclan, he was greeted by many. Shrikestar was there. His other siblings were. His nieces and nephews. His uncle, Flamestripe. His grandfather, Crowstar, whom he had never met. He purred as they all greeted him. He even looked down at his reflection. He was not the sickly, hurt tom he had been when he died. He looked like he was in his prime again, like everyone else in Starclan. He was well-fed, well-muscled. His fur shone with the stars, and his eyes sparkling.
Still, something wasn't right. He looked around for the she-cat. He looked for her dark tabby fur, which Lark-kit had taken after. He looked for her bright, intelligent eyes. He looked for her soft smile, maybe even her sleeping form! He didn't see her, though. Where was she? Where was his love? His other half? His mate? Starlingfur was no where to be seen as of yet. Why hadn't she had come to greet him like his family? Not only that, where was his dead son?
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A flaming sword of burning righteousness and also fire!
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Post by ♏aple♢ on Sept 19, 2014 20:14:55 GMT
Never say goodbye. All things come to an end eventually. Seasons, years, days and nights. Happy times and sad, things both good and bad. Even the stars have their time. Some burst in a blast of light and power, others fade softly from memory without a single sound. One moment you're there, and the next you're gone. Yet energy is never created, and energy is never destroyed. Even when things come to an end, new things spring fourth to take their place. Meteors from broken worlds, flowers from melting snow. Life from death. The cosmos are full of creation and destruction, and something that fades will always undoubtedly come back. Brighter and stronger than ever. It is the inbetween times however, that are the most difficult.
Some souls remember, some forget. Past lives, past pains. Past joys. Dozens upon dozens of hopes and dreams, hundreds of years filled with highs and lows. Some souls are younger than others, created fresh from stardust and light. Others are old. Some, very very old. There are beings who have lived countless lives in these worlds, loved and lost beyond comprehension. Laughed, cried, and inevitably died only to be reborn again. Some are unaware, others have always known. Some however, are only aware in that sliver of inbetween. The gray area- the holding space between death and rebirth.
She was an old soul. Born and reborn more times than she could count. Sometimes feline, sometimes canine, and even human at points. The stars which had coursed through her veins for centuries had made themselves at home once more, lacing her eyes with light and her breath with stardust. She'd known many names over the years. Too many to recall, and many that no longer mattered. Only two were important now. Starlingfur, and Skylark. Her past, and her future.
In her past she had been many things, though the recent history was all that was important. She'd been a thinker, a planner. A moonlight walker and a mother. And to two cats, a lover. Bird, daughter of Leaf and loner of the pine forests. Starlingfur, warrior of Duskclan and mother to Thrushwing, Ravenmist, and Dapplefall. Mate to Boltfang. And even later on, deputy of Dawnclan. Mother to Cicadasong, Waspwing, and Mothfrost. With her final breaths she had held Larkkit and Featherkit in her paws, loving and happy mate to Birchtail. Her previous feline life had been filled with trial and error, but when it had finally ended she had been happy. The world had nearly ended and yet even from the ashes, the phoenix had risen. Her kits lived on, the clans had begun to reform, and her mate had survived without her. For a time, at least. Even in the stars she had kept her white light around them, protecting her remaining family from what harm she could. But even love cannot prevent the inevitable.
Starlingfur had watched from the stars as the light had faded from Birchtail's eyes. Those green eyes, always so loving and warm. In life, they'd made her feel so safe even in such dark times. And she had watched as they'd done the same for their kits. She had wanted to go. To be the one to retrieve him from the plane of the living, just as he'd retrieved her from her quiet life into a world of happiness. But not all things were so simple.
All things end, and with them new things begin. In Starlingfur's case, her time in the inbetween.. In Starclan.. was coming to a close.
Her pelt was translucent, barely any color left in her. It had grown clear and dark, filled with the dots of stars. No bodyheat radiated from the ghostly she-cat, only chill and the scent of space. Starlingfur would be returning to the world of the living once more. Soon after arriving in Starclan, she'd realized that she had no choice in the matter. Her memories had come flooding back to her, taking her over like a tsunami. She was trapped, in this cycle. The cycle of death and rebirth, of happiness and sadness. Even she had no idea why, only that she had to keep pushing forward. There was no option not to. It had been painful, remembering everything. Like packing thousands of souls into one. She remembered lives that in her most recent she would have never believed possible. But they had happened, and they had happened to her. Through hundreds of lives Starlingfur had lived. And soon she would be entering her next.
But she didn't want to go.
Her family was here. The cats she loved. Her kits and friends, her brother and sister. Her clanmates and grandkits, those who had been there with her through life and now death. She loved them more than anything, and it was heartbreaking to be torn away from them after so little time. But her time would come soon, and she had to make haste in her goodbyes. And there was one cat in particular that she hadn't seen yet, but so desperately needed to. Her mate, her love, her other half. The tom who had been there for her when she'd thought that she'd needed nobody, and had proven otherwise. The warrior who had taught her to feel again, and had stood strong for their kits when she had been unable.
Birchtail.
The starry feline was weak, and had been unable to greet him at first arrival. It took her longer than the others to travel, now that her state was weakened. But now, through the moonlit trees and illuminated flowers, she could finally see him. No longer was the gray and white tom weak and frail, overtaken by sickness as she'd last seen him. Once more Birchtail was as strong and bright as he'd always been. Starlingfur's heart skipped a beat even now, and light rushed to her eyes. Copper gems, the color of liquid gold. No matter how she weakened her eyes would always be bright. And his- she could see them now through the forest. Green and full of life, warm as she'd remembered. And yet they were confused, almost worried. In her heart, Starlingfur knew that he had been looking for her. Just as she had been looking for him. And now, they could finally be together again. Even if only for a short time.
From her still position Starlingfur broke into a run, her swiftness through the flowers sending pollen flying. Within moments she was there, burying her face in her mate's shoulder. He was here. "Birchtail, my love.." she cried out- something which she had never done in her waking life spent with him. But it was hardly a cry, muffled by his fur and her own weak voice. Even now, strong and rejuvenated, he smelled of the forest. Of their kits. Of tree leaves and sunny days, Spring air and new moss. He smelled like love, and like life. Like him. The tom she had fallen in love with all those seasons ago. Who had been with her through the loss of her daughters and through the great battle. Through the end of it all and through the birth of their kits. Birchtail was here, and despite the bittersweet feeling that clung to the back of her throat.. Starlingfur couldn't be happier.
For goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting. |
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Post by Kibbles on Sept 19, 2014 23:47:26 GMT
He nearly jumped when he the force of Starlingfur in his shoulder. A loud purr erupted from him as he turned to look down at the she-cat he loved with all of his heart. What he saw, though, shocked him. That was definitely Starlingfur. But she didn't smell like her. She looked too...see through to be her. She hadn't died too long ago. And Fernheart even looked more solid than she did. So what was going on? Was Starclan playing some trick on him? No. He looked at the cats around him. Some looked away, not meeting his gaze. What was going on?
He looked back at Starlingfur. "I've missed you, Starlingfur." he mewed, wrapping his body around hers. He held her close, burying his face into her. He tried to breath in her warm scent. Nothing. Not a thing. He tried again and a pain went through him when he realized that he couldn't smell her. What was going on?
"Featherkit and Lark-kit are safe. They have others looking over them. Good cats," he murmured, licking her cheek. This whole time, he tried to ignore the fact that she wasn't quite as solid as the rest of them were. "How is everything up here?" he asked.
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A flaming sword of burning righteousness and also fire!
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Post by ♏aple♢ on Sept 20, 2014 1:15:28 GMT
Never say goodbye. Starlingfur had been happy to see her family and friends once more, but nothing could compare to how she felt in that moment. It was powerful- a mixture of both happiness and sadness. Feeling his warm coat against her own frosty pelt served only as a reminder that she was fading, and fading fast. She would be gone by the end of the moon- likely within the next seven days even. Her time here was limited, and she had to make every moment count. She was hit with it so suddenly, that yes.. She wouldn't be returning here. Not for several years. And it was likely that she wouldn't see the cats that she cared for until those years had passed. Her sister.. Shrikestar.. her kits.. And Birchtail included. She didn't want to pull away. There was a part of her, no matter how wise she'd become with the return of her memories, that hoped that if she stayed right there she wouldn't be taken away. That she would stay safe, spending her moons in rest with those she cared for. But no matter how she hoped, Starlingfur knew better.
"I've missed you as well." she murmured, face still buried in the tom's fur as she twined her tail with his. It was funny, really. Their relationship that was. As a youth in her life as Starlingfur, she'd never pictured herself getting a mate. When she'd gotten one, it had gone badly as she'd expected. And after that, she'd never expected to find anything else. She was content with the lack of romance. All that Starlingfur had wanted was a quiet life, free from trial. That was, until Birchtail had come around and turned that notion on its head. It was then that she'd finally understood how cats like Wrenface and Lightfeather had felt about their partners. How love was supposed to be. Not full of turmoil and trials, but deep and warm. The feeling of having somebody who would be at your back through the hardest of times- a cat to rely on and have rely on you. It was something that she had never expected, and had been quite unaccustomed to when she'd first experienced it. But.. she had grown to love love itself. And experiencing all of that over again now brought such a pang to her heart.
A smile rose to her muzzle as Birchtail licked her cheek, and Starlingfur did the same in return. "I know. I've been watching over the three of you very carefully since my passing, trying to protect you where I could. There wasn't much that could be done on my part, but.. You've done well, Birchtail. Thank you for being a wonderful father to them. Especially when I could not be their mother." she smiled weakly, but genuinely. She had known that Birchtail would be a good father, and even though he had passed just as she had.. He had been wonderful while he'd lived. "I only wish that I could have been down there with you, instead of up here..." she shook her head, eyes lowering to the ground. She could have done more while living then deceased. Now... she wouldn't even be able to watch her kits grow. Larkkit.. Featherkit.. Even if she couldn't watch them forever, she knew that they would grow into fine cats. No... not just cats. "Featherkit and Larkkit will be fine warriors someday, I'm certain of it. Even without us to take care of them, they have the hearts." she meowed, warmth in her wistful copper eyes.
Eventually Starlingfur resigned herself to the fact that she had to pull away. She'd never been an overly touchy-feely cat, but the return of her memories had brought out parts of her that she had never known existed. There was a wiser, aged look to her copper eyes as they met Birchtail's deep green. "Starclan has been... Good. I've gotten to see my friends and family once more, something which I have been very happy about." she meowed after a moment, voice quiet and almost hesitant as she turned her gaze to the forest around them. There were plenty of cats mulling about- some she knew and others she didn't. She caught a blue eye from the shadows- one of a cat she'd come to know quite well since her death. Their previous lives had twined and unraveled in relation countless times, though they had never been close in the waking world. Bluefang had grown hostile and dangerous in her last moons- the moons after Lightfeather's death- but now she had been returned to her previous powerful self. There was something akin to pity in the she-cat's eyes before she retreated to the shadows once more. Pity, yes.. that was something that many cats looked at her with these days. Some looked with pity, others with awe, and some even with excitement for her. Many cats hoped for a chance at reincarnation, while others dreaded the prospect. Starlingfur.. she was used to it after dozens of lives. But many cats were not, and regarded the entire system with distrust. Keeping their distance. Starlingfur could respect their thoughts, though she hoped that Birchtail wouldn't have to experience the secondhand attention too badly.
"Things have been busy though." she finally admitted with a tired sigh. "The stars are shifting, fates aligning. Cats are coming and going more frequently with the recreation of the clans beginning." Starlingfur meowed, shaking her head before rising to her paws. She preferred not to talk about what was to come, though she knew that she must. But even if it was just for a moment.. She would like to pretend that everything was normal. That she was just a normal warrior of Starclan, welcoming her mate into the starfields. "Lets walk." she meowed, after a quiet moment. Her eyes, always too expressive for her own good, portrayed her wistful turmoil no matter how she tried to hide it. But for now.. all she wanted was a walk under the moon and stars. Just like the old times.
For goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting. |
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Post by Kibbles on Sept 20, 2014 1:27:06 GMT
Birchtail's ears perked as he saw Starlingfur looked at the forest around them. He did the same and his own eyes found Bluefang. He waved his tail in greeting, but she retreated back to the shadows. He was confused, wondering if he had done something in his life that she wouldn't have approved of. He also noticed that Fernheart looked over at them, a sad look in her eyes. He was confused now, but his attention moved back to his beautiful mate as she spoke.
He got to his paws and nodded, moving beside Starlingfur. He waited until they started walking. And even then, he waited until they were walking on a path no cat was on. Well, at least no cat was in earshot. "Whats wrong? What do you mean by coming and going?" he voiced, tail still twined with hers as he stared down at the brown tabby.
They were in step together, which wasn't odd. They had been like that when they were both alive as well. Around each other a lot, mainly when he was doting on her, always complimenting her. He had done so when she was dying too. On her death bed, he had been close physically, and often told her that all of the she-cats in Starclan would be jealous because of her beauty and that he would wait to join her if it meant taking care of their kits. Their babies.
And when Lark-kit was old enough, he did the same to her. He had often called her beautiful. Often told her that she was his princess and he wouldn't let any harm come to her. Even on his own death bed, he had said such things. But now was not the time to be thinking of such things. Now he had to focus on Starlingfur, wondering what was wrong.
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A flaming sword of burning righteousness and also fire!
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Post by ♏aple♢ on Sept 20, 2014 3:12:43 GMT
Never say goodbye. And so, they walked. Starlingfur felt her uneasiness ebb, even if just slightly as they moved through the glowing flowers. If she closed her eyes, she could almost imagine that they were back in Dawnclan territory. Perhaps on their way home from the midnight patrol, the soft new-leaf breeze ruffling their fur. They would come home, report to Ravenmist as deputy, and then settle in to sleep in the nursery with their kits. Featherkit and Larkkit would jump up, asking to stay up just a bit longer to hear about their day, and Birchtail would laugh before Starlingfur tried to hush them with a warm smile. All would be well, and all would be peaceful. The end of another wonderful day. Things were finally peaceful, but in a lovely sort of way. The final, warm embers of a fierce fire. But Starlingfur knew that when she opened her eyes, no such thing would be the case. The clans were disbanded. She and Birchtail were dead, and their kits were down in the forest without them. Nothing could be done about that though.
Opening her eyes slowly, the translucent she-cat breathed in the pollen. "Starclan is such a beautiful place..." she murmured, eyes distant as she pressed to Birchtail's side and turned her gaze to the starry sky. The stars were so much more vibrant up here. That likely had to do with the fact that now, they walked among them. Breathing out slowly, a frosty puff of air appeared in front of her muzzle. Almost as though it was Leaf-Bare, despite the warm air. "I only wish that I could stay here longer. To be among family and friends for longer. To be with you for longer."
Lowering her eyes, Starlingfur went on. "Yes.. cats have been coming and going. Plenty of cats are dying in fights, but others are being born. It seems that now is a prime time for reincarnation, with the recreation of the clans." she explained, voice soft and quiet. Despite the opportunities that her words seemed to speak of, there was no happiness or joy in them. Only a hollow tiredness. Because though many cats were excited about this, she was not among them. She had lived her lives- far more than other cats had. And this wasn't a choice for her, but a duty. "Cats come, and cats leave. Some choose to. Stormpaw.. he was one of the cats that made the choice." at the mention of the tom, a small smile did come to her face. It didn't quite reach her eyes however. Since her death, she had learned the truth about him. She'd suspected it, but finding out that he was her Stormkit had been something else. In life she had loved him as though he was her own though, and she had done the same in death. And who knew, perhaps they would meet once more in the next life. Each cat only recieved minimal information on where they would be going however, and it was a mystery to most. Save for their names.
"Others.. like Thrushwing, are being pulled down to the world of the living without a say in the matter." her smile faded then, eyes becoming troubled. Her son... he had been through more than she in their past life. And when he realized that he had begun to fade, the tom had been more panicked than she had ever seen a cat. He had screamed and cried, begging the highest cats in Starclan not to make him go back. He was afraid- and Starlingfur understood fully. She had tried to comfort her in what ways she could, but there was only so much that a cat could do. Even so much that a mother could do. He was already gone, and all that Starlingfur could hope for now was that he would find happiness in his next life. It had broken her heart to see him how he'd been in his last, and afterwords how he'd been in Starclan. Shaking her head, the she-cat sighed. Starclan knew what was best though. The cosmos had things in store for each and every soul it seemed. Perhaps he would finally be able to recover.
She would have to say it. Those few words, admitting her fate. But Starlingfur still found herself hesitant. As if the more she spoke them, the more permanant it would become. But she knew that that wasn't true, and that it was just her wishing for excuses. Starlingfur hated change. She didn't want to be reborn once more, and she didn't want to lose her family that she had now. She didn't want to lose Birchtail. She had lost countless families, countless friends, and countless mates. All to the stream of time and the stars. Many of whom she knew that she would never see again. Souls sent to different cosmos, different afterlifes. She was a traveled being, her soul scattered across the stars but not quite enough so to anchor herself. And it hurt. She was afraid... Afraid of losing everyone again. But she had to tell him, one way or another. Looking up at him now, copper eyes met green once more. There was a sort of resigned air about her, but she spoke the words even so. "I.. am one of the cats being sent back as well. Though.. my circumstances are somewhat different." she finally murmured, eyes soft and tired.
For goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting. |
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Post by Kibbles on Sept 20, 2014 4:37:37 GMT
Birchtail listened as she spoke. The mention of Stormpaw made him smile. He should have guessed that the tom would have volunteered to go back. He was surprised when none of his family had gone back. Then again, his family was very close. He knew that they would want to stay together no matter what, although they had separated for a while in the forest when Duskclan split into Dawnclan as well. Then mention of Thrushwing, though, made him cringe. He frowned, knowing that the tom had a hard time living in the forest below. Especially with the red-eyed devil.
He continued to listen in silence as his mate explained everything. The silence was broken when she said that she would be going back. He stopped in his tracks, eyes staring at her. That would explain was she was so transparent. That would explain why he couldn't smell her warm, friendly scent. It explained everything. But he didn't want to believe it. No! He had just gotten up here! Why would this happen to him now? Why would Starclan do this to him? To her!?
He bared his teeth, a low growl forming as tears appeared in his eyes. He shook his head. "No! No, you can't go! I just got here! We are supposed to be together! We were meant to be together! Why are they sending you back? Why does it have to be you?!" he asked, shaking his head. Some cats turned to look at them and he knew that they felt sorry for the tom. Felt sorry for Starlingfur, as well. The two had only just come back together.
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A flaming sword of burning righteousness and also fire!
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Post by ♏aple♢ on Sept 22, 2014 0:32:15 GMT
Never say goodbye. Pain clutched at the ghostly warrior's heart as she saw her own inner turmoil reflected in her mate's eyes. She had known that the revelation would hurt him, just as it had hurt her. He was right, it just wasn't fair. She had lived through her entire life as Starlingfur, oblivious to the fate that awaited her in the stars. Oblivious to the hundreds of lives she'd lived before, and oblivious to the fact that she'd abandoned hundreds of friends and families as she was forced to start anew each life. It... it just... It wasn't fair that she had to forget each and every time, only to remember and feel the pain anew each time she died and began the process again. And even moreso it was unfair to those she loved. Cats like Wrenface, like Shrikestar, like her kits and like Birchtail. Feeling her own pain was hard enough, but the sadness in her families eyes... That was what truly hurt her.
"I don't want to go back." she meowed quietly, voice almost cracking as she pressed her forehead to Birchtail's. Even now, she could feel her power fading again. She was growing weaker by the day, and as of late it had been by the second. Her time was nearing, and there was nothing that she could do about it. Nothing that anybody could do about it. "I want nothing more than to stay here with you and with my family. To rest in Starclan, as I was promised as a warrior in life." she shook her head, copper eyes shutting tightly to prevent any tears. "But the stars.. They are not so kind." the translucent warrior murmured, pulling away and opening her eyes once more. Now her wistfulness was no longer so concealed- it was pure and raw, mixed with a storm of sadness. She could feel the eyes of other starry cats on them. Feel the pity on their pelts. But they were not her focus now. She and Birchtail were all that filled her world right now. That, and the impending storm. And there was no shelter big enough to keep it out.
How many times had she explained it to cats? To two-legs, to dogs? After a time, the lives all seemed to meld together. Details from one would seep into another, muddling her memory. Perhaps this was what had caused her poor memory in her life as Starlingfur. There was too much to remember, and too little space. But ears lying flat, Starlingfur shook her head as she tried to explain. "I knew not of my history in my life.. My life as Starlingfur- as you knew me- but now that I've passed on I've learned. I've learned.. Many things. This was not my first life, and it will not be my last." she meowed, looking to the sky as she searched for words. The stars above seemed so cold now. So distant, so uncaring. Points of freezing light, barely more than suspended snowflakes. "I've been through this cycle.. dozens of times. Hundreds." she finally sighed shakily, shaking her head once more. Speaking of it hurt. Remembering hurt. "Some as cat, but not all. I've lived more than one hundred lives, been more than one hundred beings. And each and every time.. I've had to leave." she meowed, soft voice shaking more now as pinpricks of tears formed in the corners of her eyes.
"I've had to abandon those I cared about, time after time after time. Just to be reborn somewhere new and repeat the cycle. I don't know why it happens, but I wish more than anything that I did." Some cats around them had begun to leave- to give the two privacy. A few still watched, but most seemed to understand that Starlingfur and Birchtail needed space. Needed time. Time to talk, time to mourn, time to explain. Time, time, time. Something that Starlingfur had... Far too little of. "I don't know whether its some cruel trick, or there's some purpose to it, but.." she looked away for a moment, before looking back to her mate's eyes. The tom who she loved more than any other, and had brought color into her life when her skies had been dull and gray. Her love, the sun to her moon. Her Birchtail. "I don't.. I don't want to go. I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave my family, not my friends, and not my kits. I don't want to leave you." she breathed, voice soft and pained as she stretched one paw forward to place it over his. Some say that an image can speak volumes, more than any string of words can. But sometimes, a simple action can do just the same.
For goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting. |
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Post by Kibbles on Sept 22, 2014 1:07:47 GMT
Birchtail got angry at Starclan. How they could be so heartless to rip her away from him. He couldn't stand this and her words made him angrier. It wasn't like him to be like this. He had never been an angry cat, even during the war and after. He wasn't like he had been in the forest. Something in him broke. He had expected to come up here and spend eternity with the love of his life. And that wasn't happening because Starclan had to stick their sticky paws into things and dirty it up. No. No, it wasn't going to end like this.
"Starlingfur, look at me," he said, his voice eerily calm. There was anger in his eyes, but also determination. A determined smile crossed his maw as he gave a small chuckle. He looked around. "All of you cats, look at me! Let Starclan hear me when I say this! No- LET THE FOREST BELOW HEAR ME! LET MY KITS HEAR ME!" he called out, some cats flinching and turning away.
"Don't turn away! Not now! I, Birchtail, son of Shrikestar, brother of Fernheart, father of Lark-kit and Featherkit, mate to Starlingfur, my time has been short here! A mere few minutes, if that! I volunteer to go to the forest! To help rebuild the clans!" he called out, voice booming in the starry sky. A shimmer occurred and suddenly Birchtail began to become translucent as well, although not as much as Starlingfur.
He looked at his beautiful brown tabby mate, his eyes meeting hers. "I'll be with you, Starlingfur. I'll find you in the forest. You wont know its me, but I'll find you. You wont be alone and we can still be mates. Our family will look after our kits. But we'll be down there together, with them. They wont know its us and we wont know its them. But we'll all be together. I'll make sure of it. I'll love you forever. More than any of your other....mates. I'll break this cycle of yours. I'll make sure that after this coming life, you will not have to go to the living world again. Not unless it is by your choice and your choice alone."
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