Swanstrike (Cedar Clan)

Alias: Avalanche / Crescent / Swanstrike
Sex: Female
Age: 30 Moons
Sexuality: Heterosexual



Mate: Stone (former) / None
Offspring: Oasis(F), Summit(F), Sequoia(M)
Mother: ---
Father: ---
Siblings: Hollowfern(M)

Mentor: ---
Apprentices: Sequoia(M)



Eyes: Deep Blue
Pelt: Silver Lynx Point
Size: Extra Large
Build: Powerful (but clumsy)

Appearance:
Crescent is a huge cat. I mean, for Star Clan's sake girl, lay off the mice! Except it is not all fat. In fact, most of it is just a large bone structure. Er, I mean, a VERY LARGE bone structure. Man. Cats would take steroids and still never look like that. It makes the general majority of cats clear out of Crescent's way in a hurry. She doesn't mean to be this way. She was born freakishly huge. She can not help it. But since coming down from the mountain territories, much to her dismay, Crescent has discovered cats do not get larger on the way down.
The shecat will often walk with her head slightly bowed and tail low to try to appear smaller. It hardly helps.
Her fur is also a problem. Thick, dense, and white enough to stand out in practically any setting outside Leafbare, she is impossible for other cats to miss -as much as she might want them to.
She does have striped silver points on her limbs, ears, muzzle, and tail, with only a faint dusting on her scruff.

Picture(s):




Strengths:

• Kind
• Loyal
• Trusting

Weaknesses:

• Scatterbrained
• Clumsy
• Trusting

Personality:
Crescent is a very airheaded shecat. She never seems to stay on topic and has difficulty focusing with an attention span the length of a gnat. She is well meaning, true, but it can become very tiring to tell her things over and over and over and - Aarrrrgggghhhh! I JUST TOLD YOU!
...
*ahem* Anyway, Crescent seems to also be very observant of other cats, despite her inability to maintain a calm demeanor. It is borderline hypersensitivity actually. For all her clumsy, goofiness, she truly seems to have an uncanny knack for reading even the most closed off of cats and understand meaning or body language more than mere words. Very few, if any, masks are good enough to fool this shecat, but dont worry. She wont be spilling anyones secrets any time soon. She doesn't seem to have an particular interest in such things. Crescent is a cat just one step this side of going full survival mode, and not even a full step at that. There is something in her eyes, the blue is a deep abyss so dark and lost you wonder what happened to the cat inside, if she's even still there.
And what is so devastating to drive her to that danger precipice.


Likes

• Snow
• Fish
• The Crescent Moon

Dislikes

• Birds
• Her Size
• The Full Moon

History:
The full moon was high overhead, shedding light down on the dark scrubland that lingered at the base of a large mountain range. The mountains themselves stretched out for miles and miles into the cloud filled darkness, high above the small creatures that made this place home. They reached up so far the clouds seemed to brush their tops as they floated lazily by. The fields twisted and hissed contentedly with the winds, filled to the brim with grass and late Newleaf life. Greenleaf was almost upon the lands and the moon shone down brightly on all below.

Except one. 

A lone white figure was cloistered away within the stone walls of a shallow cavern. The thickly furred creature faced the moonlit world outside from the darkness, as still and cold as the rocks around her. As still and cold as the body at her paws.



"Stone has his eye on you, you know."
The lynx pointed shecat felt her face heat as her friend joined her in the den. Her ears flickered down in embarrassment. Stone was a tomcat, older than her by a pawful of moons. He was brave, strong, and big -oh so big! He was one of the few toms she didn't have to feel self conscious around for dwarfing. He could have been a complete slob and his size alone would have caught the shecat's eye, but he wasn't. He was a prince in all his commanding glory, and the young shecat had fallen hard for him many moons ago. 
Along with half the shecats in the clan, she reminded herself sternly. Ah, but if only...
"I'm going to help the Healer's Apprentice. I won't be long!" 
The Healer's Apprentice was a quiet shecat. Smart, strong-willed, capable -and quiet. All the things the young shecat herself aspired to be, but she was too impulsive and had no head for complex reasonings, oh, and she couldn't keep her mouth shut to save her life. The Healer's Apprentice listened absently as the shecat babbled on about her crush.
"I don't like him," the Apprentice finally mewed, "He doesn't feel right. He's too rash. Too angry."
Caught off guard by the curt and strange response, the shecat quickly corrected her friend that Stone was only very protective of what he thought to be right, and very brave. Her friend let the subject drop, and the shecat soon forgot the warning as she found something silly in the rocks to laugh at.


The figure blinked slowly, as if even her eyelids weighed as much as the mountains that stretched ever onward. Laughter. She hardly remembered what her own laugh sounded like. Even the memory was fuzzy, as if crushed under the weight of...


The white shecat with the lynx points was walking on air! Stone had- had- claimed her! In front of everyone, on the hunting patrol, he had protected her from a falcon and said she was 'his girl'! At the evening meal he had watched her with that confident smile that made her heart soar. He had come over to share prey -oh it was more than she had ever dreamed! He was so powerful and strong and not at all intimidated by her size! She felt... feminine with she was around him. She felt like a shecat, not some freakishly huge cat, a shecat! To think Stone - Stone! - would like her. It was impossible!

A few weeks down the road the two were an item.

A few moons later saw them as mates.

The shecat could not have been happier. Everything she had ever wanted, someone to love her for who she was and not how she was born, she had it all and he was the most amazing tom she could ever imagine! It was a dream come real. She gave Stone everything she was, everything she had -and he gave the same in turn. Her heart beat only for him, as his did for her. It was beautiful. It was perfect.
It was True Love.


The figure was jolted from her reverie by a drop falling from her whiskers to splash on the floor. Her face was soaking. Strange. She hadn't even felt herself crying and yet she could not seem to stop. She did not even bother trying. She had learned that sometime nothing stopped the tears. She had learned it the hard way.


"I heard you went out with Fleet today."
The shecat cocked her head, confused at the strange tone in Stone's voice. "Yes, I just thought-"
"What did you do with him?"
"Huh? Nothing. I just-"
"LIAR!"
Stone moved like lightning and struck the shecat's cheek, slamming her back into the rock wall. He stalked away, leaving the female to cry in pain and confusion. No cat had ever treated her like this. Stone was always so nice. What had she done to make him so angry? What had she done wrong?

That was the first time. It was not the last.
He always struck when they were alone, which, as mates, was often. He never left marks. He was too smart for that. For the first time in her life, the shecat felt fear. Fear that someone else was bigger than her, stronger than her, could hurt her, -and would. That fear drove her to do something she had never considered before.

The Healer Apprentice noticed her injuries. Her friend did not believe her lies, but neither did her friend out her secret, the secret of how she failed her mate so. Although, the Apprentice was skeptical when the shecat asked to learn fighting moves. 
"It is impossible. Ask one of the other Tribesmen to teach you to fight. Ones who have actually trained in that."
"I- ...I just can't," the shecat replied lamely.
They sat in silence.
"Will you ever tell me?" the Apprentice asked finally. The shecat shook her head, tears swimming down her face. Her friend sighed.
"The first step is to stop crying," the Apprentice said after a time. "Toughen up. It's you or them and you want it to be them."
"But I dont want it to be-" 
A sharp look silenced the shecat. She actually flinched away, much to her embarrassment. Her friend's face softened.
"You've learned what fear is. Now you learn how to keep it from controlling you."
And so her secret training had begun, even as her secret beatings continued.


The figure's eye itched. Blasted thing. Her left eye was slightly creamy, slightly filmed over. She had been told it would heal with time, likely gone before Leaffall, but for now it still stung. She resisted the urge to rub it and tried to stem her tears. Tears only made it worse. She might have learned how to break the chains of fear, but grief was still impossible for her to escape. Impossible.


It was impossible.
She couldn't do it. She loved him! He loved her! She knew it. She KNEW he did! Stone acted the way he did because she had failed him. Oh so much, so often she failed him. It was a wonder he had even looked at her that first night. She was lucky to even share a nest with such an amazing tom. He was the clan idol! The star candidate for leader training and now, with their kits on the way, how could she possibly raise a paw to him? No. His actions were warranted. She must work harder. For her mate. For her kits, may the toms grow strong and powerful as their father!
The Healer's Apprentice, now the Healer in her own right, said nothing when the training stopped. There was nothing to say.
She would stand by her mate, her love, always.


"You wretch!"
Pain exploded in the shecat's skull as she was slammed against the ground. She had left an old leaf in Stone's nest. So foolish! So careless!
"Honey, please, be careful. The kits-" she pleaded.
"Likely as mousebrained and heartless as their mother! I wouldn't be surprised if a litter of worthless shecats was all you birthed!"
The shecat gasped for air as he kicked her bloated stomach. A litter of... shecats?
Suddenly a horrible thought struck her. What if... what if she had a girl? They had always talked of toms. She had never even considered... would her daughter face this? Would her daughter live to see it?
In that moment, the shecat made her decision. 
Extended her claws with a vicious yowl she swiped, straining them with hot, sticky blood.
"What in the name of the stars...?" Stone backed away, confusion and wariness battling for dominance on his face as the shecat used her claws to slash open her own face to the bone.
"HELP! HELP ME!"
The sound of pawsteps outside the empty den.
"You little-"  Stone lunged but he was tackled to the side. The shecat sobbed, she sobbed and cried as hard as she had that very first night he attacked her. In the end, she still couldn't hurt him, but she couldn't let him hurt her kits. Not the beautiful, innocent daughters she was now sure that she carried -at least, for a little longer she would... wait... was her leg wet? Oh no.


A sob broke through the stillness. Another joined in and soon the immobile lynx was shuddering with the force of her cries, pounding her paws on her head until it throbbed trying to make the memories stop. She would do anything to just make all this stop.



"Two daughters," the ex-Apprentice told her quietly when she came-to. She had been given a strange herb, she could only remember bits and pieces of the violent kitting and she had passed out soon afterwards. The shecat still felt a little lightheaded from it all. A little off-kilter. Then she stared down at the warm bundles curled around her belly. Three perfect little bundles. Three... A shard of fear went through her heart, making her mouth go dry. 
"One son?" she breathed. She tried not to make her voice quiver. Her friend nodded. 
The shecat looked down at her children and shoved the fear away. These wonderful creatures were hers, and she would love them, with all the love she had.

She spent the night in the Healing Den, under the skylight, with the Crescent Moon's light bright overhead.


The first shecat did not last the night. She was still and cold by the morning, born too young, too weak. She hadn't been ready for the world.

Her sister followed in the coming days.
Stone railed that the shecat had done this to their kits. That she had taken herbs to try to rid herself of them, that he had never done what she claimed, that she had harmed herself that night. With her own claws bloody where his had been clean, most quickly joined the tom's side. They were going to take her kit, her son, all she had left in the world, away from her. And then his father was going to kill her.

Her friend, the Healer, was the one to save her. The shecat ran away with her son before the moon had reached its first crest. She sought to find her brother. The tom was strong, brave, and loyal. At least, he had been as a young man - the last time she saw him. She had no strength left for herself, and no will to fight, but at least her son would have a chance. The Healer stayed behind to stop Stone from following them.
They both knew what her fate might be at the paw's of so violent a creature.
The shecat left anyway, and the Healer did nothing to stop her.

The traveling herbs allowed the shecat to survive when she otherwise would have faltered soon after beginning such a foolhardy quest, already still weak from years of abuse and her recent kitting.

But a newborn could never survive such a journey.
Never. It was impossible.


The shecat sobbed as she held her son's body close. He was the spitting image of his father. He would have grown up a wonderful tom, a powerful tom.

And she hated herself for the tiny bit of relief she felt when his last breath left him. She had been just the tiniest bit happy that he would never have the chance to grow into the monster his father had been. She was a terrible mother! She should have just stayed behind and let them kill her! What was the point of living now? What was the point of this foolish quest if not to give her son a new life? What was the point of her life at all if not to ruin others?!

The shecat lifted her head and howled her agony up into the night sky. She lifted her voice in a wordless song of agony and loss, of deprivation and endless sorrow. She cried out to the world for all the pain her life had brought her, and only when her throat was silenced by the sheer force of her own cries did she stop.

From that night on, she was a cat without a soul. A cat without a purpose. A pretty face with deep blue eyes that haunted others with their emptiness. She lost herself in the pain and agony of losing her last child. But, then again, maybe she had lost herself long before that point.

Eventually, after days of mourning, punishing herself without food or water, the shecat began to move. Her brother. Her... old brother. She still wondered what happened to him. Had he lived a life as horrible as hers? Or was he, at least, happy?

Burning with this new question, the shecat finally restarted her journey, and with it rechristened herself with a new name. Crescent.

Perhaps it was after the Crescent moon that had watched over her the one night in her adult life when she had been truly happy. Maybe it was an act of faint, prophetic hope. That the happiness of her new name would somehow influence her quest and when she did find her brother he would, in fact, be happy.

Or perhaps it was just because of the faint crescent shaped scar to the side of her left eye.


References:


(*Crescent*)
Tears to Shed from the Corpse Bride


Thread Tracker:
Dead on Arrival ~ Swanstrike(Crescent), Crescent, Crescendo
Crescent collapses just inside the clan borders, weak from thirst and hunger. She is rejuvenated by a friendly rogue, -and reminded of her own humanity.

A Moth to the Flame ~ Swanstrike(Crescent), Cavernstorm(paw), Shadowfrost(Thunderstar), Fernheart, Boltfang
Crescent joins Cedar Clan after traveling in from the mountains to find Boltfang. She still has not found her brother, Hollow, but has hope.

Scared. Or is it Scarred? ~ Swanstrike(Crescent), Starlingfur
Crescent waits fearfully for her brother's return from a midnight hunt and meets Starlingfur, the leader of Cedar Clan and a Queen. The two bond over kits, and Crescent reveals her reluctance to stay with the clan as she fears all around her will come to ruin, just as her last family had.

The Century Turns, The Story Rewritten ~ All Cedar Clan
Crescent is renamed Swanstrike. She is still fearful of bringing bad luck to her knew home, but trusts in Starlingfur's confidence.

Sleepwalker ~ Crescent, Shadowfrost
It is revealed all is not well for Cedar Clan's newest queen. Nightmares of a past life still plague Swanstrike, igniting a fierce and wild survival instinct which had saved her many times on her journey to the clans when Swanstrike was too weak to handle the pressure of a loner's life. This instinct, for lack of a better title, dubs itself to be Crescent, the real Crescent, and tries to play with Cedar Clan's stoic deputy.

A Leader's Shadow ~ Swanstrike, Shadowfrost
Swanstrike tries to befriend an irritable Shadowfrost and gets far more than she bargained for! She ends up fleeing the camp for several days, only returning to care for Rosekit and Mistlekit. This starts up a deep seeded fear of the deputy in Swanstrike, and an even deeper hatred in Crescent.

The Exact Opposite of Alone (Starlingfur Kitting) ~ Swanstrike, Starlingfur, Birchtail, Rookshadow, Flickerkit, Hawkkit, Shrikekit, Ternkit
Starlingfur has her long awaited kits. Swanstrike assists.

Little Things, Little Cats ~ Swanstrike, Flickerkit, Hawkkit, Mistlekit, Rosekit, Shrikekit, Quail/Quiverkit
Swanstrike watches over the kits of Starlingfur and Featherpaw and takes them on an adventure to the Leader's Den!

It's a Learning Experience ~ Swanstrike, Specklefoot, Starlingfur, Ink
Starlingfur attempts to teach the clan's two most incompetent cats how to hunt. Specklefoot's silent guardian, Ink, watches with much amusement.




Roleplayer's Name: Shad
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